Monday, June 20, 2005

Mamma Mia!

Date line: 1900 GMT (June 20 2005)
Location: Manhattan - 42nd st. and 8th ave.

I'm sitting in an internet cafe right now and I still have about 44 minutes left. There isn't really much to do after I checked my 7 e-mail accounts. So I've taken to reading the gentlemen's screen next to me. I lean back in my chair a little so he can't see me in the likely case he has tremendous peripheral vision. If you're wondering what he looks like, imagine a balding Ed Rooney/ office space guy. Judging by his diction he seems to be a gay, overweight Christian who is distressed about a lover he met on yahoo. This lover in all likelyhood turned out to be a transexual who has since ignored his romantic advances and looks like he is on the verge of being dumped.

He also can't see me because he's a terrible typer (Probably never used Mavis Beacon (Condoleeza Rice's role model) ) having to constantly look down at the key board to see what he is typing.

Here's part of the e-mail he's writing:

This is your christian Brother in Arms John... why haven't you e-mailed me in so long. I have met a new TRUE BEILEVER. Has someone put a VOODO HEX on you? I wanted to say I love you. Should I come out to California to see you?

At this point I became a little brazen, staring directly at his screen. He saw me!

I've been sort of afraid to look again.

A little while later he check the movie times on Yahoo as well. It look's like he'll be seeing the 9:00 pm showing of Batman Begins at the Loews Kips Bay tonite.


8 comments:

Danny Diaz said...

it's a shame berger isn't more of a perfectionist, because i'm sick of your mediocre writing soiling his blog.

Eric said...

You should really save your venom for Hiddenhand.

Anonymous said...

also, where have messrs tom lehman and alex jacob been on this blog? dan has been posting more from europe...

Dan said...

Eric- don´t listen to the haters. This was a great post, especially because of the Mavis Beacon- Condi Rice connection. Great call, sounds like a Separated at Birth. Let´s throw in The Chief from Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego and make it a threesome. I SALUTE YOU (Magnifying glass moves toward my eye)

Tom said...

Yeah, it's easy to come up with material when you're partying in Europe with a freelance photographer. Meanwhile I have what's called a job, and the only human interaction I have on a daily basis is with the nice man who brings sushi to my door every evening.

Larissa Congdon (My Brother says hey) said...

Great call on carmen sandiego, dan. But a foursome might be more apt. Are you forgetting one Mrs. Teasley of 90210 fame?



"You know Steve, you don't know a megabyte from a megaburger."
- Mrs. Teasley

Matt M. said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mavis_Beacon

"Like Betty Crocker, Mavis Beacon does not actually exist"

You might be on to something eric...

Matt M. said...

Aunt Jemima [Image] may have an even more interesting history:

On the old plantation, Aunt Jemima refused to reveal to a soul the secret of those light fragrant pancakes which she baked for her master and his guests. Only once, long after her master's death did Aunt Jemima reveal her recipe. It's still a secret.