Friday, July 01, 2005

Chess Babe of the Month: Alexandra Kosteniuk

Alexandra Kosteniuk - Miss July 2005

Nationality: Russia
Birthday: April 23, 1984
ELO: 2508
Title: IM, WGM

She is a disconcertingly beautiful creature, the perfect subject for glamour shoots. When dealing with Alexandra Kosteniuk one sometimes tends to forget that she is also intelligent, analytical and extremely determined – winning the Russian Women's Championship with 9/11 and a performance rating of 2691 speaks for itself.

When visiting the Kosteniuk web site (always something we can recommend) a number of new shots caught our eye. The photos were taken in April, after Alexandra had visited Colombia for the TV show "Yo, Jose Gabriel". There she was given as a present the smallest chess set ever made, measuring just 1.2 centimeters square! It's made in Tinjaca, Boyaca (Colombia), and is in Tagua, the fruit of the ivory-nut palm which becomes very hard and is also called vegetable ivory. The artists are Cesar Bonilla and his wife Julia Vergara, who are true masters of their craft.

ELO tracker
Games played with White
Games played with Black


Jose Offerman said...

hey eric,

Really disappointing post. One of your best all time entries was your very first "Chess Babe of the Month." That post was witty and original, because you skillfully conflated two seemingly incommensurable entities: Chess and ladmag style girl rating. That post worked so well, as you cleverly combined two neutral concepts to form your own unique joke. Yet with this new post, you've attached pictures from a photographer who, with no irony, overtly depicts Alexandra as a racy, chess playing coquette. The photo prematurely establishes that sex and chess can relate quite naturally. You no longer rely on your own wit to bridge the gap between photo and concept. Instead, the photo, which itself contains the concept, does all the work and thus strips your whole project of its erstwhile ingenuity and originality. Your overall conceit thus devolves into "Look, A European photographer fetishizes chess players in this quirky way. I'm going to rate this girl whom this photographer thought was hot. Yeah, he's right. She is hot." I worry that this post of yours is a microcosm of your blogging at large. I know you're rather enamored with your autistically one-tone, obsessively compulsive rainman chess shtick. I, on the other hand, think the whole routine has become woefully threadbare.

Eric said...

Ok, since I have a pretty good feeling this is the work of Kingspawn-Al Zarqawi, I shall propose a compromise to our quarrel. You insolence is unprecedented and must not go unpunished. Therefore, in the spirit of Russian literary tradition, I suggest a Georges d'Anth├Ęs - Aleksandr Pushkin style battle royal (in accord with the dueling rules as set forth by his Excellency Pyotr Alexeevich in 1711). I will play a three game series of chess with you in the setting of your choice. If you want to play on Yahoo, or at the Free Internet Chess Server (FICS), or even in your spider hole the choice is yours. If you fail to win the series, you must swear by the blogger's oath that you will never flame again. If however I should lose, I will never blog again, period.

Iacta alea est.

Tom said...

Chess Blogger of the Month: Eric

Beauteous and vulnerable, Eric has fought hard to obtain the Yahoo ELO rating of "provisional." He was once on the verge of beating al after al inexplicably turned all his pawns into knights intead of queens. However, it turned out that al was merely toying with Eric. Tom has split many a series with Eric, but Eric's superior understanding of chess piece style gives him an edge. Some have theorized that the Staunton style owes its prevalence to Eric's many open and glowing endorsements.

K---s---n said...

Dear Dan,

I know you're on a bar tour in europe, busy drinking and getting dragged to museums by rich. that said, you're lack of content is offensive. eric has not risen to the challenge in your absence. This is an official warning that I, along with Munz and a few buddies from Al Asqa Martyr's Brigade will continue to flame eric like a fucking piece of koo koo roo chicken until you retake control of your blog.

MUNZ said...

Hey gents--

just want to let it be known i'm not involved with this on any level. ok, gotta go. i've got an appointment to be fat and intrigued by politics.

Dan said...

Re: Munz. BEST...COmment... ever

the actual rod said...

alea iacta est was my goddamn line, and you took it, douchebag. you're not even fucking interesting or funny; i don't know who you are, but you sure as hell better count your blessings that my lawyer's on vacation, because when he returns, you'll be headed straight to debtor's prison for the rest of your worthless unfunny life. die slow, motherfucker.

Eric said...

Go suck Hadassah Lieberman's scrotum you whiny liberal cunt.


Hate to weigh in at such a late date on the whole debate here, SINCE I HAVEN'T DONE SO ALREADY, but I have two things to say. First, I am composing this post high and therefore will not be held accountable for any of it. Second, I have not commented on this post of eric's, until now. Third, jose offerman offered unique and relatively insightful (for some reason I can never give another blogger an unqualified compliment, so, jose, consider that high praise) commentary on a mildly boring post. Fourth, eric, I'm honored that you think my blogging stature commesurate to Zarqawi's in the world of terrorism. I suppose that makes ActualGod the Bin Laden of blogging, especially since his blog is on dialysis right now--the poetry lady post is filtering the blood, but just barely. Fifth, Munz, amazing comment. Sixth, eric, I will beat you like a runaway slave in chess (especially if we roleplay and you use the black pieces) at any time, any place, and via any medium of your choosing. So consider this a virtual glove slap returned, and give your mom's vagina a quick peck for me and lil' kingspawn.