Wednesday, April 26, 2006

A little info on Rico

Well, with May 1 fast approaching, I wanted to tell you guys a little more about the newest member of the Delino Krew. Here is a picture of Chess Babe of the Month writer Rico from his middle school yearbook:













Of course, Rico wasn't always a writer. His previous job was as a migrant avocado farmer in Baja. Though Rico worked very hard at his job, he did have un pocito of free time on the farm, which he spent hooting and whistling at the girls passing by.

And when he got home from hard day's work, Rico would just relax and sit down with a cold cerveza. Yup. Then he would hoot and whistle at the girls who walked by, particularly his Mama Rosa and his little sister Guadaloupe.

Much of his seasonal work on the avocado farm was solitary, but Rico did manage to make one great friend. Here is a picture of his best buddy, El chupacabra, also from his middle school yearbook (as it turned out, they went to rival schools- this was a great ice breaker when they first met):











El Chupacabra had a wide array of interests, including chinese checkers, though his primary hobby was sucking the blood out of goats. El chupacabra, of course, like Rico, also enjoyed hooting at the women passing by. But he did not enjoy whistling at them, and for this he was mocked mercilessly. In any case, El Chupacabra did not make the move with Rico to New Haven, citing inferior schools for his seven children as the main reason.

And so Rico arrived in New Haven alone, and since I was in New York moving tantalizingly close to becoming Senior Partner at The Firm, Tom negotiated with him. After twenty years of dealing with various Central American housekeepers, I figured Tom would know Spanish pretty well, but surprisingly, the only thing he'd learned was the Spanish phrase for "collar-stay."

In spite of the difficulty of communication, Tom decided he would teach Rico a lesson or two about the wonders of the free market before the negotiation. Tom explained to Rico the evils of unions and the minimum wage, how they discouraged job creation and actually hurt the poor. "So, how much is your labor worth to me?" wondered Tom aloud. "Well, first of all we need to take into account the fact that while you'll laugh at my jokes because it's part of your job, you won't really get my jokes, which though it is unrelated to the job, is a significant negative externality. Also..." As Tom mused, Rico grabbed a quarter that was stuck in Tom's Jew-Fro. "The ol' quarter behind the ear trick. You sly dog you," said Tom, not realizing that Rico had no idea what the quarter behind the ear trick was and was in fact just trying to double his net worth. "Alright Rico, you drive a hard bargain. 25 cents a month it is." Rico, not understanding what Tom said but wanting to be liked, enthusiastically replied, "si, si!" and shook Tom's hand vigorously. And that's where we stand today. Look for more content from this promising young blogger very soon!

6 comments:

Matt said...

Less mexican stereotyping, more stereotyping of Tom.

Patterson said...

A fascinating turn of events...the collar-stay line is amazing.

Pedro said...

Quiero mas tetas!

Viva Aztlan!

Anonymous said...

Fuck all y'all immigrant heeb's and spics, Ju Jitsu still reigns!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7078875738909992582&q=street+fight&pl=true

Anonymous said...

Eric and I met RICO in a dark parking lot in front of Publix. I almost ran him over. He was less than pleased...

Anonymous said...

Quiero mas Mujeres de Queso!!!