Saturday, November 25, 2006

Dual Action Cleanse

I was just wondering if anyone else has seen this disturbing infomercial:

It stars Irwin Klee of (insert phony pseudo-scientific sounding company name here) promoting his "Colon cleansing" formula Dual Action Cleanse. It seems that every year a new Carnie/Used-Car Salesman mongrel turns up to rob some gullible old ladies in Kentucky of their pension, hawking them nonsense "formula's" promising to enhance their colon function . Last year, it was Kevin Trudeau of Natural Cures:

Among the many (un?)intentionally hilarious things he talks about are what his daughter's poop looks like.

For instance: Irwin Klee on his daughter's poop size.

The list of ingredients is also stupefying:

Fennel Seed, Oat Bran, Alfalfa Leaf, Apple Pectin, Apple Powder, Barley Rice Fiber, Beet root, Lemon Peel, Mint Leaf, Acacia Gum, Red Raspberry Leaf, Slippery Elm Bark, Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Guar Gum, Gum Karaya, Turnip, Garlic, Pau D'Arco root, Fenugreek Seed, Ginger, Alfalfa, Dandelion, Fennel Seed, Eleuthero, Green Tea Extract, Yarrow Flower, Hawthorn Berries, Horsetail Herb, Licorice Root, Marshmallow Root, Peppermint Leaf, Red Clover Leaf, Red Raspberry Leaf, Safflower Oil, Scullcap Herb, Burdock Root, Chickweed Leaf, Mullein Leaf, Papaya Leaf, Black Cohosh Root, Cayenne Fruit, Irish Moss, Pacific Kelp, Plantain Herb, Slippery Elm Bark, Yellow Dock Root, Milk Thistle Seed Extract, Echinacea Angustifolia Leaf Extract, Ginkgo Biloba Extract, Club Moss, Beet Root

I would have to say my two favorite ingredients are "Marshmallow Root" and "Slippery Elm Bark."

From Infomercial Watch, a more comprehensive examination of this turd-man's claims:

And finally, their home page: Dual Action Cleanse, Inc.

Oh, and just in case you were contemplating taking penis enlargement pills (from Wikipedia):

"Penis enlargement pills" or ointments are commonly offered over the Internet; these, for the most part, are scams.

Analyses performed by Flora Research of California and by the University of Maryland have uncovered harmful contaminants in a number of "penis enlargement" pills. Contaminants found included mold, yeast, dangerous E. coli bacteria, pesticides, and lead. [1] Dr. Michael Donnenberg of the University of Maryland has described herbal pills marketed by Performance Marketing Ltd. as having "heavy fecal contamination", possibly from animals grazing near the plants harvested for herbal ingredients. [2] There may however be a placebo effect i.e. a psychological effect of making the user think he has a larger penis, and increasing his confidence, when there is no actual change to his penis size. [3]. Some people have also reported that such pills make them feel horny, and give them harder erections, but again, without any actual growth of the penis.

And wait there's more!

And from South Beach Solutions, is your wink pink? Anal Bleaching Kit

Caution: cream contains around 2% hydroquinone (a suspected carcinogen banned by several countries including France and the UK).


Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

vraths said...

Colon Cleansing for detoxification is very important, it keeps colon better.

Dual Action Cleanse said...

This thing has become a marketing gimmick of sort everyone claims some product to be better than the other. But there is no doubt that dual action cleanse helps in many ways.

Alayna GRAY said...

Nice blog!!