Tuesday, September 02, 2014

Rep. Fred Upton's reaction to the Kate Upton nude photo hack



Rep. Fred Upton (to reporters): This is OUTRAGEOUS! That my niece would have her privacy VIOLATED like this?! I'll find the monsters who did this and bring them to justice.

[later, when no one else is in the office]
[pulls up the Upton pix]

Rep. Fred Upton (to himself, dick in his hands): Look at the jugs on that girl. If it's wrong to want to bone your niece, I don't wanna be riiiiight!

Guy whose shit literally doesn't stink


"It's true, my shit doesn't stink - but I'm still a deeply flawed individual! I'm an inadequate husband and employee! Many people whose shit smells horrible are better than I am!"