Friday, February 03, 2006

Building Security Guards

Would you really trust them in an emergency? Be honest. I know that my answer would usually be no. In most cases they are glorified secretaries in uniform. They do keep a sense of order in general just by their presence, but if a situation got dangerous I would not feel safe putting my life in their hands.

For example: Last week I had to hand-deliver a package across the street to the MLB offices. After talking with a woman at the front desk, I was told to go around the corner to the messenger entrance where someone would come out and escort me upstairs.

When I approached the door that I supposed to be the messenger entrance, I peeked through the little window at the top and what did I see? I saw four women in uniform gyrating, dancing, and laughing hysterically in a small office. Inspirational, no? After I entered and the women were suitably embarrassed, I met one of them around the corner and we entered the elevator together.

Woman: It's not what you think it was. We were doing our impressions of that Nextel commercial.
Me (playing along): That's exactly what I thought it was.
Woman: Don't you just love that commercial, it is so funny!
Me: Yeah!
(awkward silence)
Me: So, what residential college are you in?
(no response)

And these are the people protecting our buildings?

4 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:48 PM

    actually I go to Brown.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous9:09 PM

    LIke the high class snobbishness. It suits you, sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous2:55 AM

    I


    I HAVE discovered that most of
    the beauties of blogging are due to
    the strange hours we keep to see them:

    the domes of the Church of
    the Paulist Fathers in Weehawken
    against a smoky dawn -- the heart stirred --
    are beautiful as Saint Peters
    approached after years of anticipation.

    II

    Though the operation was postponed
    I saw the tall probationers
    in their tan uniforms
    hurrying to breakfast!

    III

    -- and from basement entries
    neatly coiffed, middle aged gentlemen
    with orderly moustaches and
    well-brushed coats

    IV

    -- and the sun, dipping into the avenues
    streaking the tops of
    the irregular red houselets,
    and
    the gay shadows drooping and drooping.

    V

    -- and a young horse with a green bed-quilt
    on his withers shaking his head:
    bared teeth and nozzle high in the air!

    VI

    --and a semicircle of dirt-colored men
    about a fire bursting from an old
    ash can,

    VII

    -- and the worn,
    blue car rails (like the sky!)
    gleaming among the cobbles!

    VIII

    -- and the rickety ferry-boat "Arden"!
    What an object to be called "Arden"
    among the great piers, -- on the
    ever new river!
    "Put me a Touchstone
    at the wheel, white gulls, and we'll
    follow the ghost of the Half Moon
    to the North West Passage -- and through!
    (at Albany!) for all that!"

    IX

    Exquisite brown waves -- long
    circlets of silver moving over you!
    enough with crumbling ice crusts among you!
    The sky has come down to you,
    lighter than tiny bubbles, face to
    face with you!
    His spirit is
    a white gull with delicate pink feet
    and a snowy breast for you to
    hold to your lips delicately!

    X

    The young blogger is dancing with happiness
    in the sparkling wind, alone
    at the prow of the ferry! He notices
    the curdy barnacles and broken ice crusts
    left at the slip's base by the low tide
    and thinks of summer and green
    shell-crusted ledges among
    the emerald eel-grass!

    XI

    Who knows the Palisades as I do
    knows the river breaks east from them
    above the city -- but they continue south
    -- under the sky -- to bear a crest of
    little peering houses that brighten
    with dawn behind the moody
    water-loving giants of Manhattan.

    XII

    Long yellow rushes bending
    above the white snow patches;
    purple and gold ribbon
    of the distant wood:
    what an angle
    you make with each other as
    you lie there in contemplation.

    XIII

    Blog hard all your young days
    and they'll find you too, some morning
    staring up under
    your chiffonier at its warped
    bass-wood bottom and your soul --
    out!
    -- among the little sparrows
    behind the shutter.

    XIV

    -- and the flapping flags are at
    half-mast for the dead admiral.

    XV

    All this --
    was for you, Genevieve.
    I wanted to write a poem
    that you would understand.
    For what good is it to me
    if you can't understand it?
    But you got to try hard --
    But --
    Well, you know how
    the young girls run giggling
    on Park Avenue after dark
    when they ought to be home in bed?
    Well,
    that's the way it is with me somehow.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous3:22 AM

    beautiful touching stuff...but it is "jenevieve" not "genevieve"

    ReplyDelete