New Haven Register Gossip/Arts section

I previously gave you all a preview of an article from The New Yorker, but I am pleased to present to you a preview of some content from a far more august publication... The New Haven Register. My inside source has revealed to me that the Register has a new Gossip/Arts section, which includes some "blind item" gossip (guess who they're talking about!) and concert listings. Enjoy!:

Blind Items

-Which proprietor of an alliterative Fresh-Mex restaurant was caught at the Ol’ Burrito Cart Depot on State Street slashing the tires of every burrito cart and dumping their trays of guacamole?

-Which gruff owner of the self-proclaimed “birthplace of the hamburger” was seen at Gentleman’s Club The Catwalk getting a lap dance, and then abruptly punching the stripper in the face and leaving when she started describing an erotic fantasy involving ketchup?

-Which corpulent Yalie ex-political blogger was overheard at new noodle shop East Melange saying, “You see, Ivy Noodle is like Bill Clinton, and East Melange is like Michael Dukakis. East Melange is better, it’s purer, but has narrower appeal and will probably fail.”

-Which current New Haven Mayor and failed gubernatorial candidate, when spotted at gay hotspot Gotham playing Grab-Ass with some Duke’s Men, drunkenly protested “Hey, I’m reaching out to voters!”?

Toad’s Place Schedule

March 16, Darik and the Funbags celebrating their 1,000^th Show at Toad’s

March 19, Jigsaw Reunion show

March 27, Love me Two Times, a cover band of Light My Fire, which is a Doors cover band. Note: Sorry we couldn’t get Light My Fire, but they had a gig over at Noroton Heights Junior High.