S to the I

Huge news. Your very own Dan will be featured in next week's (or the week after's) issue of Sports Illustrated, with a picture no less. Why, you ask? Is it his amazing squash abilities? Or his golf game? Or maybe his blogging skills? No, no, and no. It's for my mastery of poker, plain and simple.
Actually, I am left wondering why the article's author Danny Habib focused so heavily on me, since I am one of the better players at the Trumbull table (in my opinion at least) but not the best. I think it may have had something to do with my constant talking to Habib and begging to be in the article. In any case, my first thought was how millions of kids out there dream of being pictured in S.I. and spend their whole childhoods working to get in there, and yet I don't even work that hard on my poker game. This really fits into my notion of the world, which is that I deserve everything without having to work for it.
For the photo, I plan on wearing sunglasses and a backwards hat, as is the requisite attire for young poker studs. The article may feature the address of delinodeshields as well, which would be like hitting for the cycle, for you sports fanatics out there. Though I wonder what random readers would think of the blog- "Bulldog Burrito? Back to the Future commentary?" I think I may just sell out...
My next post: I saw an old lady leaving a porn store with a vibrator. It looked like a penis! Ca ca. Doo doo.