INT. KGB Offices, New York Bureau-
KGB Supervisor is speaking to KGB Officer Boris Lubov.
KGB Supervisor (thick Russian accent): Bond izz on ze top of Jiminy Peak, ze ski mountain. Your mission eez to keel heem. Now go!
EXT. JIMINY PEAK SKI RESORT, SKI LIFT
(KGB Officer Boris Lubov, who is a single, boards the three-person lift with a middle-aged couple, Dave and Sue Beauregard. Dave sits in the middle. The chair lift begins to move upward)
(beat)
Dave (Boston accent): Whooooweee- cold today, huh?
(Lubov grunts in agreement. He is focused on the mission)
Dave: So whereabouts do you live, my friend? The wife and I are from Medford, Mass. 'Bout 15 minutes outside a Boston.
Lubov (recalling from his case file): Parseeppany, New Juhrsey.
Dave (turns to wife): Sue, did ya hear that- Parsippany!
Sue (exasperated): Yes, honey, I heard.
Dave: My wife's sister lives in Parsippany- oh we go down there all the time. Lovely town, lovely town. Though not such a lovely sister if you know what I mean (nudges Lubov)- HA! I'm just kidding. Hey, you ever been to the Lobster Shack over there?
Lubov (hesitant): Lobster Shack? Ehh... Yes. Many time. Ze, eh, how you say, lemon butter, eez fantastic.
(Lubov looks up the mountain and sees there is still quite a ways to go. He is getting antsy)
Dave: Lemon Butter?! At the Lobster Shack?! I think you've got it confused- their signature thing is that their lobsters are so juicy you don't need any butter! Matter a fact you get nasty looks just if you ask for any.
Lubov (very nervous at this point): Ah yees, how could I forgeyt.
Dave: Don'tcha remember the jingle they have on the commercials "our lobster's better, so you don't need butter"? Maybe a little too much Stoli, eh, my friend, heh-
Sue: Honey, I think the nice man might like to be left alone for a little bit.
Dave: Oh sure, the man wants to sit here in the freezing cold in absolute silence. Totally bored out of his mind. Yeah, great call Sue. Anyway, which trails are you thinkin' a hitting? I hear Upper Jumper is a toughie but it's early in the day so the ice shouldn't be too bad.
Lubov (really mad at this point): Maybe I try that one, yes.
Dave (looking down at Lubov's shoes): Hey, you're not wearing any skis, buddy. Whaddaya have 'em up at the lodge up there, or--
(The chair lift stops in midair, still not close to the summit)
Dave: Stopped! Again! Honestly I am telling you this always happens to me. Not to other people, to me. I think the lift operators are like "Dave's on the lifts, looks like it's stoppin' time!" I mean really I-
(Lubov shoots Dave. Dave's limp body plummets into the snow below)
(Lubov and Sue are alone in the chair)
Lubov: I sorry. But he did not understand dat uncomfortable, awkward silence on chair lift much beyter than repetetive, mundane conversation about superficial connections aynd ski conditions.
Sue: Hey, I'm with you. He learned his lesson.
(the chair lift resumes movement upward)
(Lubov and Sue sit in uncomfortable silence for the remainder of the ride)
KGB Supervisor is speaking to KGB Officer Boris Lubov.
KGB Supervisor (thick Russian accent): Bond izz on ze top of Jiminy Peak, ze ski mountain. Your mission eez to keel heem. Now go!
EXT. JIMINY PEAK SKI RESORT, SKI LIFT
(KGB Officer Boris Lubov, who is a single, boards the three-person lift with a middle-aged couple, Dave and Sue Beauregard. Dave sits in the middle. The chair lift begins to move upward)
(beat)
Dave (Boston accent): Whooooweee- cold today, huh?
(Lubov grunts in agreement. He is focused on the mission)
Dave: So whereabouts do you live, my friend? The wife and I are from Medford, Mass. 'Bout 15 minutes outside a Boston.
Lubov (recalling from his case file): Parseeppany, New Juhrsey.
Dave (turns to wife): Sue, did ya hear that- Parsippany!
Sue (exasperated): Yes, honey, I heard.
Dave: My wife's sister lives in Parsippany- oh we go down there all the time. Lovely town, lovely town. Though not such a lovely sister if you know what I mean (nudges Lubov)- HA! I'm just kidding. Hey, you ever been to the Lobster Shack over there?
Lubov (hesitant): Lobster Shack? Ehh... Yes. Many time. Ze, eh, how you say, lemon butter, eez fantastic.
(Lubov looks up the mountain and sees there is still quite a ways to go. He is getting antsy)
Dave: Lemon Butter?! At the Lobster Shack?! I think you've got it confused- their signature thing is that their lobsters are so juicy you don't need any butter! Matter a fact you get nasty looks just if you ask for any.
Lubov (very nervous at this point): Ah yees, how could I forgeyt.
Dave: Don'tcha remember the jingle they have on the commercials "our lobster's better, so you don't need butter"? Maybe a little too much Stoli, eh, my friend, heh-
Sue: Honey, I think the nice man might like to be left alone for a little bit.
Dave: Oh sure, the man wants to sit here in the freezing cold in absolute silence. Totally bored out of his mind. Yeah, great call Sue. Anyway, which trails are you thinkin' a hitting? I hear Upper Jumper is a toughie but it's early in the day so the ice shouldn't be too bad.
Lubov (really mad at this point): Maybe I try that one, yes.
Dave (looking down at Lubov's shoes): Hey, you're not wearing any skis, buddy. Whaddaya have 'em up at the lodge up there, or--
(The chair lift stops in midair, still not close to the summit)
Dave: Stopped! Again! Honestly I am telling you this always happens to me. Not to other people, to me. I think the lift operators are like "Dave's on the lifts, looks like it's stoppin' time!" I mean really I-
(Lubov shoots Dave. Dave's limp body plummets into the snow below)
(Lubov and Sue are alone in the chair)
Lubov: I sorry. But he did not understand dat uncomfortable, awkward silence on chair lift much beyter than repetetive, mundane conversation about superficial connections aynd ski conditions.
Sue: Hey, I'm with you. He learned his lesson.
(the chair lift resumes movement upward)
(Lubov and Sue sit in uncomfortable silence for the remainder of the ride)
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