Saturday, April 07, 1990

Predictions for the 1990s and beyond

I just turned 7, and for my birthday, my parents got me this post. The internet hasn't been invented yet, but somehow I've overcome that obstacle and am providing you with my predictions for the future:

1992-Delino DeShields will have a .292 batting average in his third full major league season
-Delino DeShields will win Montreal Expos' Most Improved Player Award
-Delino Deshields will marry his high school sweetheart Delina, in a ceremony attended by DeShields' Expos teammate Marquis Grissom
-the Cold War will end

1998-Delino DeShields, now on the St. Louis Cardinals, will have 26 stolen bases
-Delino DeShields will visit the Saint Louis Arch and comment that "it's even more beautiful in person"
-Delino DeShields will foolishly fail to register the domain name delinodeshields.blogspot.com, missing out on millions of dollars
-President Bill Clinton, who will have been re-elected in 1996, will be impeached

2005-Delino DeShields will no longer be playing baseball professionally
-Delino DeShields will have a paltry Wikipedia entry that should be longer
-four internet whiz-kids, myself included, will be capitalizing on Delino DeShields' name recognition by using the delinodeshields.blogspot.com domain name, having bought it up in the cyber-squatting frenzy of 1999. They will receive TENS of hits monthly from unsuspecting Delino DeShields fans who have googled him.
-Terri Schiavo will be murdered by proponents of the "culture of death"

2006- I will have a job, and not be living in my parents' house.

Predictions for the 1990s and beyond

I just turned 7, and for my birthday, my parents got me this blog. The internet hasn't been invented yet, but somehow I've overcome that obstacle and am providing you with my predictions for the future:

1992-Delino DeShields will have a .292 batting average in his third full major league season
-Delino DeShields will win Montreal Expos' Most Improved Player Award
-Delino Deshields will marry his high school sweetheart Delina, in a ceremony attended by DeShields' Expos teammate Marquis Grissom
-the Cold War will end

1998-Delino DeShields, now on the St. Louis Cardinals, will have 26 stolen bases
-Delino DeShields will visit the Saint Louis Arch and comment that "it's even more beautiful in person"
-Delino DeShields will foolishly fail to register the domain name delinodeshields.blogspot.com, missing out on millions of dollars
-President Bill Clinton, who will have been re-elected in 1996, will be impeached

2005-Delino DeShields will no longer be playing baseball professionally
-Delino DeShields will have a paltry Wikipedia entry that should be longer
-four internet whiz-kids, myself included, will be capitalizing on Delino DeShields' name recognition by using the delinodeshields.blogspot.com domain name, having bought it up in the cyber-squatting frenzy of 1999. They will receive TENS of hits monthly from unsuspecting Delino DeShields fans who have googled him.

2006- I will have a job, and not be living in my parents' house.