Saturday, December 14, 2013

SingularityBro at a New Year's Party to ring in 2002


Partygoers: THREE! TWO! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Cute Girl: Wow, 2002! So cool that this year's a palindrome! The last one we'll see in our lifetime

SingularityBro: Yeah, it's crazy!

SingularityBro's Interior Monologue: Maybe the last one you'll see in your lifetime, you dumbass! When the singularity comes ten years from now, only visionaries like me will be able to take advantage of it. And I'll live FOREVER! 2112, 2222, fucking 3333 - I'll see 'em all!

SingularityBro: Since it's our last palindrome year, let's make it special

(SingularityBro leans in to kiss Cute Girl. Cute Girl backs away)

Cute Girl: Whoa, whoa, I have a boyfriend.

(Cute Girl scurries over to her boyfriend, a handsome guy in a trucker hat)

SingularityBro's Interior Monologue: Eh, there'll be plenty more where she came from in the next... INFINITY years! Plus I won't be shackled to this pasty, overweight body and these unstylish clothes. Eh, maybe I should get a new sweater - I feel like this mock-turtleneck is a chick-repeller. Nah, when the Singularity comes I won't need clothes, my brain'll just be chillin' in that vat. "Come on into my vat, the water's warm," that'll be the pickup line of the future, yeah...