Thursday, October 30, 2014
Doctor: Good news, Brad! You don't have Ebola anymore!
Brad: That's amazing! Can I leave? I want to see my girlfriend, my family, my dog!
Doctor: ... you have E-BOOOOOO-la! Happy Halloween!
Brad: Really? Are you fucking kidding me?
Doctor: Nope. In fact your quaran-scream just got extended another 21 days. But don't worry, the cafeteria has Macabre & Cheese all week!
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Friend of Guy with a Hole in his Head: A fucking parking ticket? Jesus - I need that like a need a hole in the head.
Guy with a Hole in his Head: Dude!
Friend of Guy with a Hole in his Head: Sorry, sorry! Forgot. I mean, ya know, I need that like I need, uh, Parkinson's Disease.
Guy with a Hole in his Head: Come on man, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's last week. We talked about this.
Friend of Guy with a Hole in his Head: Ah, sorry sorry. Probably why it was on my mind... to be fair.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
GWBush: Bath party? We had one of those at DEKE! Oh man those Quinnpiac girls got wet n' wild with us. Why wasn't I invited to this bath party? Is it 'cause I don't drink anymore? I'll have O'Doul's.