Thursday, October 30, 2014

Ebola Patient Halloween

Doctor: Good news, Brad! You don't have Ebola anymore!

Brad: That's amazing! Can I leave? I want to see my girlfriend, my family, my dog!

Doctor: ... you have E-BOOOOOO-la! Happy Halloween!

Brad: Really? Are you fucking kidding me?

Doctor: Nope. In fact your quaran-scream just got extended another 21 days. But don't worry, the cafeteria has Macabre & Cheese all week!

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Guy with a Hole in His Head and his Friend

Friend of Guy with a Hole in his Head: A fucking parking ticket? Jesus - I need that like a need a hole in the head.

Guy with a Hole in his Head: Dude!

Friend of Guy with a Hole in his Head: Sorry, sorry! Forgot. I mean, ya know, I need that like I need, uh, Parkinson's Disease.

Guy with a Hole in his Head: Come on man, I was diagnosed with Parkinson's last week. We talked about this.

Friend of Guy with a Hole in his Head: Ah, sorry sorry. Probably why it was on my mind... to be fair.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Lost Doonesbury from 2k4

Paul Wolfowitz: Mr. President, I'm concerned about elements from the Ba'ath Party in Southern Iraq.

GWBush: Bath party? We had one of those at DEKE! Oh man those Quinnpiac girls got wet n' wild with us. Why wasn't I invited to this bath party? Is it 'cause I don't drink anymore? I'll have O'Doul's.