Friday, June 30, 2006

Reader Appreciation Day

Today, June 30, is Reader Appreciation Day. We don't have that many readers left at Delino, but thankfully, the readers we do have are loyal. Dan and I recently had the chance to hang out with Sarah and Elizabeth, two of the most dedicated Delino (and Marquis) fans on the planet (I would be remiss to not point out that Laura is equally dedicated, but not in New York right now...also, thank you to the Actual Rod, Jenevieve, Susanna, and Nostradamus for supporting us). In our discussions we came up with the idea of a t-shirt for our readers. This new t-shirt would be a great complement to our limited edition Blog It t-shirts that are currently beloved by all.

The t-shirt:

On the front: Read it and Weep
On the back: Tears of Joy (delinodeshields, listed underneath...might be too many letters, we'll work on this)

What do you, our readers, think of this idea? Thanks for everything.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Oh, Lame Saint!

I walked into the elevator this morning and an elderly woman who lives on the floor above me was already inside. As usual, the silence quickly devolved into small talk.

Elderly Woman: So, you're on break from school?

Me: Nope. I graduated last year. I'm going to work, actually.


Elderly Woman: Where are you working?

Me: A law firm in midtown.

[My Inner Monologue: How are we only on the fourth floor?]

Me: Where are you off to today?

Elderly Woman: Doctor's appointment.
At this point, we reached the lobby and I figured I could just do the ol' sprint-ahead move. But they had just wiped the floors, so I couldn't walk quickly. And so, the small talk had to continue as we meandered down the long corridor to the front door:

Elderly Woman: So how do you like your job?

Me: It's OK. Sometimes I get pretty involved in the cases, which is nice.

[I am starting to sweat as I worry that I won't be able to get rid of this woman in a nice way]

Elderly Woman: Are you thinking of going to law school?

Me: We'll see. I want to keep my options open, but it's certainly a possibility.

FINALLY, we reached the front door. I figured we'd be going in different directions and that'll be that. But it turned out we were walking in the SAME DIRECTION! This was getting pretty bad now. But, true gentleman that I am, I kept the conversation going:

Me: Actually, I just read an op-ed by a law professor in the Journal who said if you aren't totally serious about law school, then it's probably not--

Elderly Woman: --OK, you have a nice day there.

And with all the energy in her feeble body, the elderly woman walked past me and turned the corner. She pulled the ol' sprint-ahead on me. How fucking lame am I?

I guess I had always assumed that uncomfortable elevator small talk was for the old ladies' benefit. Now I realize it is for no one's benefit. Lesson learned. The hard way.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Hello from Türkiye!

From: Tom Lehman
Date: Monday, June 26, 2006 3:00 PM
Subject: Hello from Türkiye!

Molly and I got off the tram in Istanbul with a reservation at a local hostel, but we still ended up dealing with a man who wanted to sell us a hotel room. Between this and that he got us to go with him to the hotel, and eventually purchase the room. (He revealed that he was in an arranged marriage with a girl he did not love!). While they were dealing with our passports, we sat in the hotel lobby and the following conversation ensued:

Man: So...You buy carpet? I get you amazing price on carpet. Good friend is wholesaler!
Us: Well, thanks for the hotel room, but we really can't carry a ca--
Man: Okay, no carpet. Watch. How about watch? Premium watch, Dolce & Gabbana, just 5 Lira!
Us: No, we don't need a watch either...
Man: Fine. Winters in America--very cold! Leather jacket! I get you amazing price!
Us: No, just the hotel room is fine...
Man: Okay, okay. How about Mashed Potatoes! You need mashed potatoes? Big discount!No problem!

Everyone in Istanbul wants to sell you something. One fun thing to do is to walk through a crowded square and yell "I NEED A TURKISH CARPET! WILL SOMEONE PLEASE OFFER TO SHOW ME A CARPET!" It's a stampede.

I finally broke down and bought a leather jacket in the Grand Bazaar. Most vendors seemed a little shady, but the guy who I got the jacket from said he'd give me an extra special price because I was his friend, so I feel pretty good about that purchase.
Also, the Blue Mosque smells terrible. (Because everyone has to take off his shoes!)


Friday, June 23, 2006

Ahead of his time

I'm talking about Eric of course. Now that has splashed a story about chessboxing all over its front page, it is going to get all the credit for "discovering" this fine test of brains and brawn. In reality, we here at Delino know better. Our very own Eric told us of this sport months ago. should be giving credit where credit is due!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

An Appropriate Picture in the NYTimes

Sorry for the lack of content recently, I assure you this blog is alive and there have been behind-the-scenes things going on, and content is on the way very soon. For now, check out this pic from the New York Times with their caption- notice anything about what is going on in the picture? (Besides the fact that the wife is clearly thinking "YAYO?! Aww you insane!"):

"With his wife at his side, Bridgeport Mayor John M. Fabrizi held a news conference to announce that he abused cocaine while in office."

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

To my well-wishers

(Does anyone read this anymore? Did anyone ever?)

Some of you may know that I won some money in a poker tournament back in April. Well, the final table of that tournament is being televised for the first time tonight, at 9 PM EST and again at midnight EST on the Travel Channel.

If you miss it and are interested in viewing it, check here in the next few days.

Sunday, June 11, 2006


On 6/11/06 at 4:17 am, Eric Brandon wrote:

Yo Tom,

So I saw Amy Puf. at Greenstreet Bar tonite. Said hello, chatted briefly.

Do you think it is a very bad idea to ask her if she wants to go snorkling? Should I just give up on this one? (Probably.)

I figure maybe there is a one in a million chance she'd think something pseudo-adventurous like this would be cool?


On 6/11/06 at 6:26 am, Thomas Lehman wrote:

My main man.

Did not feel entirely comfortable looking at vag pictures in this Dubrovnik internet cafe. This place was bombed kind of to shit in ´93, and I think the last thing they want right now is some ignorant american swine rubbing his freedom and liberalism in their collective faces.

That having been said, I dont think there is any harm asking Puf out for a snorkling adventure, though I am not optimistic about her saying yes. That having been said, I think you should probably give up on Puf. the magic dragon and concentrate on wooing a conquest with which you have a chance--ammonium cyanate (NH4OCN).

Seriously though, study hard. If I have to construct a make-shift catapult on this trip you had better be on hand with the relevent equations.

Yours in the struggle,
Tom "Acet(ic)amide CH3-C(O)NH2" L.


Puf. the Magic Dragon:



Thursday, June 01, 2006

Chess Babe of the Month: Carmen Kass

Carmen Kass - Miss June 2006

Nationality: Estonia
Birthday: September 14, 1978

Kass is a spokesperson for Sephora, one of the world's leading cosmetics retailers, and the Christian Dior perfume, J'adore. In February 2004, she joined Estonia's ruling Res Publica party and was running for the European Parliament after her homeland joined the European Union in May 2004. She gained about 2000 votes from Estonian electorate and was not elected to the European Parliament. The same year she was elected the President of Estonian National Chess League and she ran a campaign for obtaining the right to organise Olympics of Chess in 2008 in Tallinn, Estonia, which was however given to Dresden, Germany.

In 2004, Kass also starred in the Estonian murder-mystery film "Täna öösel me ei maga" or "We Will Not Sleep Tonight." The international release was retitled "Set Point."

The statuesque beauty is often cited for her distinctive runway walk. A quirk of the Estonian supermodel is that while very tall, her feet are quite small- about a size seven (American). It is said she sometimes simply falls out of her shoes while walking.

For more info, please read: Chess Classic 2004: Carmen in Mainz