Thursday, January 24, 2008

Rebate Check Party!

So the finalized plan of $600 per person- one dinner at Masa is how Treasury Secretary Paulson put it- is in place but I wrote this post before that so just hang with me here:

As if you didn't have enough reasons to vote for O-bombs, now he is calling for a $250 check for every middle-class American! [Let's ignore the fact that I am somehow considered middle class under his definition- how gauche, I should really return the check out of class solidarity with my fellow Yale Club members] Assuming this happens, the bloggers should have a rebate check party - Foie Gras! Caviar! Decent but not that impressive watches! The possibilities are endless. Not to be outdone by his fellow former yeyo-experimenter, there are rumors that Bush might offer a rebate of two 8-balls rather than a mere one 8-ball ($500 vs. $250). We'll see how it shakes out.

Which reminds me of a conversation Tom and I recently had re: contraband, at the Kati Roll place.

Tom: Hey Dan could you bring these Kati Rolls to my splace - I need to go to the bank. Oh shit, we're across the street from PressToast. The guy at PT knows you're my buddy and I'm not getting my daily sandwich from him, he'd be pissed at me if he found out. You should hide those Kati Rolls OK?

Dan: Got it.
(Dan takes out a massive package of condoms and starts cutting the Kati Rolls into small chunks)

Tom: What are you doing, Dan? You can just put the Kati Roll bag under your jacket when you walk by PressToast.

Dan: Shhh.
(Dan starts stuffing the Kati Roll pieces into the condoms to make little pellets)

Tom: Dan, seriously just stop it!

Dan: And let them find it? Never. Stop talking so loudly.
(Dan starts swallowing the condom pellets of Kati roll)

Tom: Dan, you're fucking insane!

Dan: Just (swallows a pellet) doing my job.

Tom: Alright, alright. You know the protocol if one of those, um, comes out the other side?

Dan: Wash it off and re-swallow it?

Tom: I didn't say you could wash it off!

Dan: Yes, boss.
(Dan swallows another pellet)

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

today on the subway

So I'm sitting on the subway and the girl across from me is reading Eat, Pray, Love, that chick lit book about some woman who travels the world to find love and meaning and all that. Meanwhile, I'm just casually reading Robert Nozick's Anarchy, State, and Utopia, the libertarian philosophical treatise. And the girls asks me "Is Anarchy, State, and Utopia the sequel to Eat, Pray, Love?" I mean come on!

NB: Some, or possibly all, of the events in this story are embellished, except for the part about me reading Anarchy, State and Utopia- Tom, you impressed? Anyone impressed? Just a little?

Friday, January 18, 2008

Bobby Fischer 1943-2008

You will be missed.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

American Gladiators: The New Class

First of all, I'd like to note that I have beef with the new American Gladiators because they didn't pick Finnegan as a contestant. But I swallowed my pride and watched the first episode. What most struck me is that it looks like AG went to The Man Hole or some other L.A. gay bar to find the male Gladiators- check out these pics:




Wednesday, January 02, 2008

New Year's thoughts

Happy New Year, blog readers! Just as the clock struck Midnight, I noted that the biggest change will be that sassy African-American women will now have to say, "Honey, it's 2008, ain't nothin' we can't do!" instead of "Honey, it's 2007, ain't nothin' we can't do!"

On another note, I'm excited for Ariel, who will celebrate his SEVENTH birthday thanks to this year being a leap year!