Monday, January 11, 2010

Sexually Repressed Guy Writes Origin Story for his Small Business's Web Site

One summer day, my buddy Jeff and I were paddling down the Connecticut River. Just a coupla dudes with a coupla brews, and a canoe. Yep. Breezin' down the river, chillaxin'. Scopin' out babes, definitely doin' that too, for sure.

The current was strong that day, and Jeff used all of his might to steer us away from some trees that had fallen the night before. A powerful thunderstorm had left branches and trunks strewn all along the river, but that day there wasn't a cloud in the sky. The sun was beating so strong that Jeff shed his cut-off tee-shirt, exposing all six-foot-four of his sinewy frame. Water splashed over the front of the boat, covering Jeff's upper body. His pecs looked like a pair of sizzling porterhouse steaks, ready to be taken off the grill and devoured. Sweat glistened on his flaxen mane, the individual hairs like stalks of hay in a Millet painting. Jeff was rowing so hard he began grunting: UNHHH! UNHHH! Like the calls of a wild animal in heat. I hurried to the seat behind him and we began rowing together, rocking back and forth in unison, our grunts synchronized along with our strokes. Forward, Backward UNHHH! UNHHH! Forward, Backward UNHHH! UNHHH! Forward UNHHH! UNHHH! UNHHH! UNHHH! And then it hit us! Why are canoes made out of heavy, old-fashioned steel? What if canoes were made out of titanium?

Titanium is ultra-lightweight, durable, and strong - heck, it's even waterproof! Golf clubs have been made out of titanium for years - why not canoes? So with a little research from some eggheads at the Dartmouth Physics Department and some seed money from a few relatives willing to take a chance on a coupla young guys with a dream, we founded TitaniCanoes. Now that you know our humble beginnings, explore our site and check out our full line of TitaniCanoes... They're Titanic!