Friday, June 11, 2010

Quotes from a Future President Who's Obsessed with His Boyhood Discman

Civil Rights"Society's a lot like a Discman. There are all these moving parts, and sometimes the weakest of the parts, well it just gets pushed around so much it can't function anymore. Civil Rights are society's Skip Protection"

Education
"I worry about the future of America if we fail to keep up with the dynamic education systems of the emerging nations in Asia. We can't become Aiwa to China's Sony"

Environment"Like the lens on a Discman, we've got to keep our oceans and skies clean and clear. This climate bill is the saline solution and non-scratch cloth for the Earth"

Government Accountabilty"My administration has worked tirelessly with Congress to make sure that the laws we pass are written in clear, easy-to-understand English so that Joe Q Public can read them just as well as any K Street lobbyist. We want the model for our laws to be the instruction manual for the Sony D-E905 350 Discman, not the instruction manual for the Sony D421SP Discman"

War
"My mama had a saying back when I was a boy - 'If you break it, you fix it.' It being a Discman"

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