Sunday, October 03, 2010

Scene from a 1993 Hanukkah

Jared's Mom: And I saved the best gift for the last night!

[Jared's Mom hands Jared a small gift-wrapped box. Jared's eyes light up, as if he knows what it is]
[Jared rips open the box. Inside is the SNES version of Mortal Kombat]
[The excitement evaporates from Jared's face]

Jared's Mom: It's exactly what you wanted! You excited to play?

Jared: Mom, I wanted the Genesis version

Jared's Mom: Genesis? Super Nintendo? It's all the same

Jared: No, it's not the same. There's no blood in the Super Nintendo version. You did this on purpose!

Jared's Mom: On purpose? Jared, you're giving me far too much credit - what do I know about video games? It's not like I leaf through your little Nintendo Powers while you're at school

[Jared grabs a VHS tape labeled "60 Minutes 11/12/93 - Violent Video Games and Your Kids: What You Should Know/Cheers Final Ep."]

Jared: This ring any bells?

Jared's Mom: You don't need to see all that blood! You're very impressionable at this age - I've read studies!

[Later that night]
[Jared's sitting in front of the TV playing Mortal Kombat for SNES, slack-jawed, clearly not enjoying himself. Jared's Mom walks in]

Jared (sarcastic): Wow Mom, thanks so much. This is exhilarating

Jared's Mom: Jared, I'm letting images of a ninja beating up a woman into my home - what more do you want?!


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