Jared's Mom: And I saved the best gift for the last night!
[Jared's Mom hands Jared a small gift-wrapped box. Jared's eyes light up, as if he knows what it is]
[Jared rips open the box. Inside is the SNES version of Mortal Kombat]
[The excitement evaporates from Jared's face]
Jared's Mom: It's exactly what you wanted! You excited to play?
Jared: Mom, I wanted the Genesis version
Jared's Mom: Genesis? Super Nintendo? It's all the same
Jared: No, it's not the same. There's no blood in the Super Nintendo version. You did this on purpose!
Jared's Mom: On purpose? Jared, you're giving me far too much credit - what do I know about video games? It's not like I leaf through your little Nintendo Powers while you're at school
[Jared grabs a VHS tape labeled "60 Minutes 11/12/93 - Violent Video Games and Your Kids: What You Should Know/Cheers Final Ep."]
Jared: This ring any bells?
Jared's Mom: You don't need to see all that blood! You're very impressionable at this age - I've read studies!
[Later that night]
[Jared's sitting in front of the TV playing Mortal Kombat for SNES, slack-jawed, clearly not enjoying himself. Jared's Mom walks in]
Jared (sarcastic): Wow Mom, thanks so much. This is exhilarating
Jared's Mom: Jared, I'm letting images of a ninja beating up a woman into my home - what more do you want?!
Jared: I. Want. BLOOOOOOOOOOOD!