Monday, August 08, 2011

Real-Life Taxicab Confessions

[Taxi picks me up on Upper East Side]

Muslim Taxi Driver: Where you going my friend?

Me: North 4th and Kent Ave in Williamsburg

Muslim Taxi Driver: Oooohh I don't know, my friend.

Me: Don't want to go to Brooklyn? That's OK I'll just get another cab.

[I reach to open the door]

Muslim Taxi Driver: Wait - it's not that! I want to go to Brooklyn. I want money. I love money. But I also love to pray! And I was on my way to the mosque on 96th Street right now.

Me: It's OK - really, go pray.

[I reach to open the door again]

Muslim Taxi Driver: No wait! What is it going to be? I love money soooo much! But I love to pray soooo much.

[Silence for 10 seconds]

Me: So, uh...

Muslim Taxi Driver: Money - so important. Need money to live a good life. BUT, BUT prayer so important as well. Need prayer to live a good life.

[Silence for another 10 seconds]

Me: Look, just tell--

Muslim Taxi Driver: Is there a mosque in Willamsburg?

Me: I don't, uh, probably

Muslim: Ehh, no, no - I know this mosque. It's a good mosque. I'm sorry my friend, I must pray.

[I exit cab, and get into a different cab, who proceeds to drive in the Kent Avenue bike lane, sending frightened bikers screaming in every direction]

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