Monday, April 22, 2013
Boston Marathon Bombers' Uncle
Boston Marathon Bombers' Uncle (TO REPORTERS): My nephews have brought shame on my family! And they've brought shame on the Chechen peoples! Dzokhar, that loser, must tell everything he knows to the authorities! I wish I weren't related to these two demon-brothers!
Boston Marathon Bombers' Uncle's Interior Monologue: I know it's terrible what they did, I know. But isn't it nice that these two brothers did something TOGETHER? My own two sons won't even get a cup of Starbucks together - even after I offer them gift card to sweeten the deal - and these two plot a bombing, hide out, go on wild police chase together. I'm not condoning it, I'm just saying!
Boston Marathon Bombers' Uncle (TO REPORTERS): Shame! Losers!