Friday, September 23, 2005

TV-MA

I was channel-surfing (is that word still in vogue?) tonight and I happened to catch an intriguing scene on the Howard Stern show. It was, simply put, a porn star, on all fours, in the nude, with a 15-inch strap-on dildo hanging from her forehead. Her apparent duty was to use the marital aid as a makeshift putter in some kind of perverse variant of miniature golf against 3 other adult film actresses. Oh yeah, one more thing. The girl's face was covered in makeup - clown makeup. She, apparently, represented some kind of clown pornography website.

But this isn't even what intrigued me. Before she was about to swing, they asked her if she was feeling confident. She said something like "Well I've spent a lot of time watching The Price Is Right, and Bob Barker seemed to be pretty good at this, so.."

Shit, that was hot. What a subtle fucking reference. (She was referring to, of course, the pricing game known as "The Golf Game" on The Price is Right, the introduction to which was Bob Barker attempting a putt.) Of course, none of the Stern people knew what the fuck she was talking about.

Anyway, this probably won't come up, but if you ever see me with a huge boner at the circus, you'll know why.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

2005 is truly turning out to be Al's Annus Mirabilis. After a weak start this year, he has made a strong comeback and his latest posts have been nothing short of genius.

Anonymous said...

A little history on Alex Jacob's Annus Mirabilis Posts.


Though additionally diagnosed as autistic at birth, Al quickly outwitted Fate herself to make a strong case as the greatest blogger of all time.

Jacob, when he wrote the posts, was without much blogging literature to which he could refer nor many witty colleagues with whom he could discuss his theories. During the time he wrote these posts, Jacob was a fluffer at the Swap Shop's Patent Office in Cooper City, Florida. This provided him information on various effects and literary devices via clowns' patent applications. In addition to his job, Jacob's wife, Mileva Marić, may have had some influence on his work but how much is a debated question.

Anonymous said...

Yah, re's'pec.

Dis be de most profilic outburst in yer ung career.

See use all beck in Staines.

Anonymous said...

Yah, re's'pec.

Dis be de most profilic outburst in yer ung career.

See use all beck in Staines.

Anonymous said...

Yah, re's'pec.

Dis be de most profilic outburst in yer ung career.

See use all beck in Staines.

Anonymous said...

Yah, re's'pec.

Dis be de most profilic outburst in yer ung career.

See use all beck in Staines.

Anonymous said...

Yah, re's'pec.

Dis be de most profilic outburst in yer ung career.

See use all beck in Staines.