Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Wall-E Reviews

Just saw Wall-E last night and I enjoyed it, though it was not nearly as good as Ratatouille (i.e., it's not going on my Facebook list). While I was on the bus home from the movie, I whipped out my iPhone and checked the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes. Wall-E got a 97% rating, which I sort of expected; then I delved deeper and read some of the top critics' reviews. The movie was good, but these guys have perhaps gone a bit overboard - here is a sampling of some of the top reviewers:

"Wall-E is a cinematic tour-de-force. It's a masterpiece, a timeless classic. It has everything- laughter, love, and most importantly a timely message for all humanity. It takes a couple of love-struck robots to show us that if we don't stop our rampant consumerism and environmental devastation soon, there won't be much Earth left to enjoy! If you don't love this movie you have no soul."
-A.O. Scott, The New York Times

"A++++! Wall-E belongs in the Pantheon of great movies, animated or not. Beautiful cinematography, witty dialogue, and buckets full of heart. A touching tale that reminds all of us that we are at a crucial juncture in history, and humanity can either rise to the occasion or fall into an environmental abyss. Everyone will love this movie! If you don't love this movie, I fucking hate your guts. Seriously, what is wrong with you? What is going on in that diseased brain of yours- 'I don't like movies that are the most charming ever, or ones that tells us what to do to save our future'! You are the scum of the Earth do you know that, Wall-E hater? You might even be beneath cockroaches- I mean Jesus a cockroach was IN Wall-E and he was so fucking cute so yeah actually fuck that you are DEFINITELY beneath cockroaches!"
-Owen Glieberman, Entertainment Weekly

"Wall-E is the finest film ever made. It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, and it'll make you think with its beautiful eco-conscious message. So if you don't love Wall-E, I am going to kill you. 'Nice one,' you say? No, like, for real, I am going to kill you. I will go to your house, knock on your door, and blow your head off. No, you know what, that's letting you off too easy. First I'm going to torture you- I'll torture you so bad you'll wish you were at Guantanamo. Then I'll kill you in the slowest manner possible- maybe Braveheart style or some shit with The Rack. Matter of fact, I will kill your family too, because I don't want any of that demon Wall-E-hating seed poisoning the gene pool. In conclusion, Wall-E is an uplifting film for children of all ages, from 1-100, that will reaffirm your faith in humanity!"
-Joe Morgenstern, The Wall Street Journal


Congdog said...


And I found the short before Wall-E particularly tiresome.

Why's no one talking about that short? That should be a huge deal everyone's talking about.

Alexxis Tyler said...

Made love robots so much, I went and bought a jackrabbit.