Barber #1: OK, Trolley Problem-- Trolley goin' down the tracks, about to hit a child - but if you flip a switch, it'll hit five manatees on the other track and save the child. What'd you do?
Barber #2 (instantly): Ooooh that's a easy one!
Customer: Yeah fo sho- you flip that fuckin' switch!
Barber #2: WHAT?! This mothafucka would flip the switch?! And kill all them manatees!
Customer: But I'd be savin' a child! A thinkin', talkin' human being!
Barber #1: What the fuck have them manatees done to you that you wanna kill 'em?! Been cute? Been the pride of Florida? Been a great sight to see as a bonding activity for grandparents and grandkids? Those sound like some capital mothafuckin' offenses to you?!
Barber #2: That's it! You outta here! Get tha fuck out of mah barbershop!
Customer: Ok, Ok, let's all calm down now. Save the manatees, save the kid, it don't matter. (Turning to Barber #1) We all brothas here, right?
Barber #1: You heard the man- get the fuck out of the barbershop, you manatee-murderin' mothafucka! (Barber #1 physically pushes Customer out of the barbershop) (Barber #1 and Barber #2 are now alone in the barbershop)
Barber # 2: Save the kid, kill the manatees? Shit, I seen some crazy mothafuckas in this shop but that one takes the cake!