Friday, June 06, 2008

Scene from a New Haven Barbershop

Overheard at a Barber Shop on Dixwell Ave:

Barber #1: That Guida's- that's some institutional mothafuckin' milk right there!

Customer: HELLLL NOOOOO- I go down to the bodega up Edgewood, get me some Guida's on a hot day. Drink it up with some Oreo's-mmmm.... that's some good shit.

Barber #2: Guida's milk? At the bodega? You crazy. That shit is fuckin' institutional as ALLLLL hell! Yale, Southern Connecticut State, Saint Raphael's Mothafuckin' Hospital- those sound like grocery stores to you?!!

Customer: Nah Nah- No Way! After this, I'll run down to SHAW'S, get me some Guida's, show all y'all mothafuckas it ain't only institutional!

Barber #1: That's it! You outta here! Get tha fuck out of mah barbershop!

Customer: Ok, Ok, let's all calm down now. Institutional, not institutional, it don't matter. (Turning to Barber #2) We all brothas here, right?

Barber #2: You heard the man- get the fuck out of the barbershop, you non-institutional-milk-recognizin' mothafucka!

(Barber #2 physically pushes Customer out of the barbershop)
(Barber #1 and Barber #2 are now alone in the barbershop)

Barber # 1: Guida's milk... not institutional? Shit, I seen some crazy mothafuckas in this shop but that one takes the cake!


Anonymous said...

Amazed, and utterly confused all at once.

Anonymous said...

Bring back the chess babes!