SeamlessWeb

As you probably don't know, Rich works at SeamlessWeb. And let me tell you I love SeamlessWeb. In fact I wish the whole internet were run by SeamlessWeb- you'd conduct searches on SeamlessWebOogle, check movie times on SeamlessWebAngo and social network on SeamlessWebAcebook. Imagine that site:

Chicken Tikka Masala has added you as a friend
Alaska Roll and Pad See Ew are no longer in a relationship
Cobb Salad is watching The Golden Girls - soooo 80's!!!!

The possibilities are endless. You could even get political commentary from SeamlessWebGreenwald. Rich, make it happen

Trip Advisor: Casa de Splayas

So I stayed at the Splayas' house a couple nights in the last month and I had a great time, and when I got back home I figured on a lark that I would check the ratings on Trip Advisor. Boy, this girl's review was quite different from the Splayas' slick marketing materials. Check it out:

posted by Girl84:
DO NOT STAY HERE!!!!!! Literally, there was like a drug deal going down in the next room over from me! Totally shady! Also, you have to SHARE the bathroom and I think some dude PEED IN THE SINK! ewwwwwww... As if that wasn't bad enough, a guy tried to kiss me after we had a jovial conversation for five hours- creeeeepy... The other guests talk all weird; they say 'skeet' alot- what does that mean? And even in the hallway they never wear shirts, and sometimes no pants. One dude had this big-ass laptop he was using in the lounge and the fucking thing was so big and all-consuming he didn't even hear or see me when i said 'hi'. Nice location though. And unlimited Diet Cokes a major PLUS! SKEET - see now they have me saying it; seriously what does that mean???

new campaign slogan for Obama

So the polls are not going so well for Obama. I'm no David Plouffe, but it seems like one way Obama could shake up this campaign is by changing his slogan- "Change we can believe in" has sort of been co-opted by McCain. For inspiration, I turned to some of the political lessons I learned at Yale. What about this for Obama:

You can't go wrong with Matt Harsha-Strong.

Father's Day Card For Noam Chomsky

An Observation about Screenplays

I've been reading some screenplays and teleplays lately and is it just me or have the action lines (scene descriptions) gotten more extensive than they used to be? Take this scene for example from a script I recently read:

INT. JENNY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

JENNY, 18, lithe brunette lies on her bed next to STAN, 18, average-looking brown-haired guy with GLASSES. This is the last time they'll see each other until Thanksgiving Break, and they want to make it special. The hot summer air wafts in from an open window. The mood is sensuous. Like somehow, for a moment, rural Kentucky has been transformed into Havana. SWEAT glistens on Jenny's lips and DRIBBLES down her neck. Silence. Stan TAKES IN THE MOMENT. Jenny REACHES OVER and STICKS A BIC PEN UP STAN'S ASSHOLE. Why the fuck not, right? It's a fucking screenplay, I mean go do your boring missionary bullshit in your own bedroom - I'm trying to open people's minds here, it's called ART. Look it up in the dictionary, Mr. Concerned Parent over there. Like your daughter's gonna be scarred for life if she sees a little anal- NEWSFLASH she's probably banging the black kid on the basketball team already. Jeez OK, what else happens? Um, so Stan is surprised at first but then he LIKES IT. He's really GETTING INTO IT as Jenny moves the pen around in there. Wait, also "My Back Pages" is playing in the background shit I forgot to mention that. The Dylan version, not The Byrds' version. DEFINITELY not the Byrds' version - I mean jesus it's a WISTFUL song not a fucking hippie chant; does a three-part harmony sound wistful to you? Where was I? Oh yeah, Stan is into it and we can see an idea forming in his head. He looks at Jenny - she appears totally COMFORTABLE and OPEN TO ANYTHING.

STAN
Hey, Jenny. Do you want a Joe Biden dick-pic?

JENNY
Do I want a vodka tonic?

STAN (shifting his eyes around the room)
Yeah, uh, a vodka tonic.

HARRY REID is standing in the corner behind a chest of drawers. STAN nods to him. Harry Reid furtively leaves the room, taking a MANILA ENVELOPE FILLED WITH JOE BIDEN DICK-PICS with him. He leaves behind a SIGNED COPY OF HIS BEST-SELLING BOOK "THE GOOD FIGHT." Man, that is a great fucking book. Seriously go read it.

More Trip Leader Instructions in Israel

"OK guys, it's going to be very hot out there and we are doing a lot of walking so make sure to bring your water bottles. Also, it is going to be very sunny out there and we're going to be doing a lot of leering so make sure to bring your sunglasses!"

p.s. new Israel content will be trickling in and then back to your scheduled Delino programming by the end of the week

Trip announcement

The splayas and I arrived for our birthright trip just now. The trip
organizer walked in and said "ok guys you're going to be meeting a lot
of new people so roll down those quarter socks!"

Commodities Bubble?

A lot of financial journalists have recently been talking about how investors may shift from the housing bubble to a new commodities bubble. They point to the recent upsurge in commodity prices such as oil. But I took a look back at commodities prices over the last three years and even projected into the next couple years using an algorithm I developed, and I'm just not seeing this bubble they're talking about. Take a look for yourselves (click on image for full view).

New Nostradamus Marquis Song: "Snowing in Heaven"

After a few years out of the limelight, mostly spent boozing and watching CNN's Gulf War I coverage, Nostradamus Marquis is back with "Snowing in Heaven" in response to the death of Fox News legend and former Press Secretary Tony Snow. I helped him out on the lyrics, and I plan on suing in twenty years when I'm broke and this song is bringing in megabucks on iTunes. Enjoy:

http://fliff.tv/delino/snowing_in_heaven.mp3

Scene from a New York Barbershop

Overheard at a Barber Shop on Lenox Ave:

Barber #1: Man I just got me that Netflix shit- that's some good shit right there, no more late night trips to the 'Buster.

Customer: Oh that's for DAMN sure! I got me the whole five-disc package - love that shit.

Barber #2: FIVE discs! What the fuck you need five discs for? I got two discs- that's all a brotha need.

Barber #1: Yeah - two discs! You finish one movie, you got another movie right there, you send the first one back and by the time you get a new one you done with the second. Ain't nothin' more to it than that, ya greedy mothafucka.

Barber #2: They's kids starvin' in Africa and this nigga got FIVE mothfuckin' DVD's in his crib at one time?!

Customer: Ah'm just sayin' there's situ-ations where a brotha need five discs, I mean...

Barber #1: That's it, I can't take this shit no more!

(Barber #1 takes out a shotgun and blows Customer's head off)

(Barber #1 and Barber #2 stand solemnly above the Customer's corpse)
(beat)

Barber #2 (quietly at first, then at normal volume): Hey, yo what about one of them TV shows you get really into, with all them cliffhangers and shit. Maybe you need them five discs.

Barber #1: Yeah, yeah like Lost or some shit. How the fuck you gonna stop watchin' Lost after two discs? They's too many questions- how they gonna get off that island? Who that fat dude? Shit I pulled an all-nighta at my cousin's place watchin' Season Two.

(Barber #1 looks down at corpse of Customer)

Barber #1 (wistfully): Damn, son. Mah bad...