Friday, August 04, 2006

Housing in NYC

Now that a bunch of my friends from the class of '06 are moving to New York, they're all telling me about their tough housing issues- "who will I live with?" "That guy is so messy but I'm neat" "How can I find something in Manhattan for under $1000?" Now I feel for them as much as the next guy, but I can't help but feel a little hurt that they don't ask me about all of my housing issues.

I mean this Dad guy has way more money than anyone else, so he always wants to order in from fancy restaurants, but sometimes I just want to make an inexpensive salad at home. And this Mom girl - it's kind of weird to have a girl in the apartment with three guys. I'm a nice guy, so I have been putting the toilet seat down and haven't been watching pornos in the living room, but how long can I keep that stuff up? Plus, she really gives me and Rich shit when we drink - what's the deal with that? I was sold by Rich on this whole living arrangement assuming it was gonna be like a frat house. "Old School meets Failure to Launch... Wait, those two movies also meet The Goonies," were Rich's exact words.


And Rich- that's a whole other can of worms. I mean we were good buddies in college, so I figured it would be a good idea to live with him, but this NFL thing has really gone to his head. I get in from a hard day at work, my brain is fried from all the complex equations and shit I’m doing as a paralegal, and what do I hear from Rich? “Guess who I met today, Dan? Former Raiders Quarterback Todd Marinovich. We chatted at lunch.” Great. What happened to the Rich I knew in college? The Rich who wouldn’t leave a Sigma Chi party until he’d ruined the beer pong table with all of his vomit and an international student had kicked him out by screaming the Arabic word for ‘sheep-fucker.’ My point is we’ve all got problems.

4 comments:

Nostradamus said...

He's back!

the actual rod said...

aren't llamas a new world species?

Dan said...

just corrected it, AR. You are an observant one. Remember to vote Lamont on Tuesday, like you need me to remind you...

the actual rod said...

thanks, dan. didn't you call me today? and aren't you avoiding actually picking up everytime i attempt to call you back? if you don't come up to help (likely) tomorrow, and lamont ends up losing (unlikely), someone is going to have a very rough night sleeping (you).