Monday, June 04, 2007

First Annual Tom Community Service Award

I know Tom hasn't been posting much lately, but since his long absence from the blogosphere has made him a bit frightened of jumping right back in the pool (he is currently standing in thigh-deep water, waiting to get his junk wet, if you want to continue the metaphor), I have appointed myself as his blog proxy. And so without further ado, I bring to you....

The First Annual Tom Community Service Award. And the Tom Community Service Award goes to... JAMES SIMONS. If you read that Wikipedia page, you will learn that Mr. Simons is a major philanthropist to causes such as Autism research, education and the mathematical sciences. But that is not why he is receiving this award.

Mr. Simons is receiving this award from Tom because he was the highest-paid hedge fund manager of 2006, taking home $1.7 billion. Tom asks you, dear readers, what could be a bigger community service than making the markets more efficient? Answer- nothing! Now if only Mr. Simons would stop taking some of his money out of the markets to pay for this inefficient research and charity spending (we all know the market will take care of any diseases, scientific research and any other social ill or need- DUH!), he would have this award locked up for years to come! And as Beneficent Allah might put it, being a balla is a service to the community.


Eric said...

Is his wife a babe?

Beneficent Allah said...

You can't imagine how difficult it is to ball all day every day. I really can relate to this fellow's hustle/struggle.

It's like I have to carry the weight of the Antoscock on my shoulders...

mr. wrongway said...

the hedge in hedgefund is like hedge in hedge your bets. not like peter rabbit is in the hedges. right?

Eric said...

But then, is the hedge in hedge in your bets, also like the hedge in peter rabbit in the hedges?

Anonymous said...

Posted by ESC on November 14, 1999

In Reply to: Re: hedge your bet posted by Bruce Kahl on November 14, 1999

"What does the phrase 'hedge your bet' mean? I read it in a book and heard it in a song and I have NO clue what it means. Please help me!" Sarah

To "hedge your bet" is to protect yourself against a possible loss. It is a term used chiefly in the financial markets.
A) For instance, in times of high inflation or economic uncertainty the experts always recommend the purchase of gold or the equivalent since gold has always risen in price when the outlook is cloudy or unstable. Gold is the classic hedge against a falling market.
B) If you are a multinational corporation and you're receivables or cash flow is in various currencies you can hedge your exposure to fluctuating currency exchange rates by purchasing various insurance policies.

TO HEDGE A BET. "Why You Say It?" by Webb Garrison (Rutledge Hill Press, 1992) has this explanation for the phrase: "Hedge. Throughout much of northern Europe, early farmers planted bushes and shrubs to serve as fences and boundary lines. Anglo-Saxons were partial to hawthorn, a row of which they called a 'hege.' It was a mark of caution to plant hawthorn around a field, or hedge it. Eventually the name of the barrier came to be used in connection with many kinds of safeguards. As a result, we say that a person who wagers on several horses rather than only one hedges his bet. Many a person manages to hedge by avoiding direct promises and unqualified commitments."

Stuart Berg Flexner, in "Listening to America," (Simon and Schuster, 1982) says, "Though the first European stock exchange was established in 1531 in Antwerp, Belgium, not until the period of 1620-1700 did English merchants and bankers begin to develop our modern stock market terms. During those eighty years before 1700, 'bond,' 'broker,' 'dividend,' 'to hedge,' 'securities,' 'share,' 'stock,' and 'trader,' took on their financial meanings."

Jonas said...

Nice Post. And yes, Tom needs to start posting again.