Thursday, October 25, 2007

Taxicab Confessional

As I hailed down a cab this weekend, one cab driver cut off another one in order to get my fare. I got in the taxi of the guy who did the cutting off, but then we stopped at the same red light as the driver who got cut off. What ensued was the following screaming match:

Other Cab Driver (Middle Eastern Accent): Fuck youuuu! You fuckin' guy.

My Cab Driver (middle eastern accent): Fuck Youuu! You ugly

Other Cab Driver: No you ugly. Motherfucker. You take my fare

My Cab Driver: You ugly, you Osama Bin Laden. (Cab driver looks back for my approval)

Other Cab Driver: Son of a bitch!

My Cab Driver: Big... big dick! (makes a hand gesture of a big dick)

And with that, my cab driver sped off down Lexington Avenue. As the ride went on, we spoke a little about this and that, where I was going and why, etc. Then, after a brief lull in the conversation:

My Cab Driver (pensively): I should have said 'cunt'.... Eh, he probably wouldn't even have gotten it.

I don't know about you, but I take comfort in knowing that people from all walks of life are thinking about comedy neurotically


Nostradamus said...


Like your friend, I can never think of an appropriate retort quickly enough, especially in taxi-cab related dramas.

Anonymous said...

Great post Dan. I love this reality-blogging. It's interesting that your cab driver, who also had a middle east accent used OBL as an insult. Isn't that like one Jew calling another Jew a kike? And then looking back to his Arab passenger for approval?