Friday, January 20, 2006

You can't make this shit up

Really, as a satirist, there is nothing more to make fun of here, it is already something i might read in a Yale-specific issue of The Onion...














The looks on AKS's and Syverud's faces are priceless.

Here are the nut grafs from the text of the article:
" The impeachment charges against YCC President Steven Syverud '06, Vice President Marissa Brittenham '07 and Treasurer Emery Choi '07, which were proposed by Kennedy-Shaffer at an emergency meeting last Sunday, did not appear on last night's agenda."
AND
"
Kennedy-Shaffer's "Olive Branch Proposal" -- in which the representative offered to withdraw from this week's election and drop the impeachment charges in exchange for the adoption of the "Equal Access Amendment" -- was not discussed at the meeting."
AND
"I announced that I would sacrifice my political future for the good of my fellow students, knowing that the good shepherd must sometimes give his life for the sheep," said Kennedy-Shaffer

For the full text, click here

1 comment:

Liam said...

King High grafs:

"I will move on to senior activities, such as the senior essay and partying," Kennedy-Shaffer said.

He is also "down to fuck."

AND

"the main item on the YCC agenda was the approval of up to $16,000 in funds from the Committee for Campus-wide Activities for a visit by Swedish singer Gunther -- known for the infamous "Ding Dong Song"...the students who planned the event, members of the Saybrook suite known as the "12-pack," requested more money than the CCA is allowed to autonomously award, over half of the total $25,800 CCA budget."

Sweet!

"oh, you touch my tralala,
mmm... my ding ding dong.

deep in the night,
i'm looking for some (ping)

You tease me,
oh please me,
i want you to be my lovetoy,
come near me, don't fear me,
i just can't get enough of you boy"