Friday, June 03, 2005

A Day That Will Live in Infamy

A message from PRESIDENT DAN:

Good Evening, my fellow blog citizens. Today, our fellow citizens, our way of life, our very freedom came under attack in a series of deliberate and deadly
(first comment) Flame attacks aimed at our very own blogger, Tom. Like the bombing of Pearl Harbor by the Japs in 1941, these acts were intended to frighten our blog into chaos and retreat. But they have failed; our blog is strong.

Delino was targeted for attack because we're the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the blogosphere, and no one- NO ONE will keep that light from shining.

Today our blog saw evil, the very worst of human nature. And we responded with the best of Delino- with the daring of our rescue workers, with the neighbors who came to let Tom cry on their shoulders and help in any other way they could.

Our first priority is to get help to those who have been injured, and to take every precaution to protect our citizens at home and around the blogosphere from further Flame attacks.

The functions of our blog will continue without interruption. Delino offices which had to be evacuated today are reopening for essential personnel tonight, and will be open for business tomorrow.

Intelligence reports indicate that an individual calling himself "Kingspawn" is behind these evil acts, although Hizbollah has claimed responsibility- most likely for publicity reasons. I've directed the full resources of Delino's intelligence and law enforcement agencies to find all of those responsible and to bring them to justice. We will make no distinction between the cyber-terrorists who committed these acts of horrific Flaming and those who harbor them.

To our potential allies around the blogosphere- Actual Rod, That Girl, Finnegan, Nostradamus, Actual God, even Munz- I urge you to join with all those who want peace and security in the blogosphere, for if we stand together, we can win this war against Flamers. Flaming is not just a tactic, it is part of a virulent and hateful strand of the larger Commentary ideology. Make no mistake, there are good and decent Commenters all over the blogosphere, elaborating on posts and even making legitimate complaints and critiques. But these Flamers have hijacked the fundamentally peaceful religion of Commentary for their own destructive and hateful purposes.

Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who grieve, for the children whose worlds have been shattered, for all whose sense of safety and security has been threatened. And I pray they will be comforted by a power greater than any of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23: "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Flames, I fear no evil, for You are with me."

Delino has stood down enemies before, and we will do so this time. None of us will ever forget this day. Yet, we go forward to defend all that is good and just in our blogosphere.

Thank you. Good night, and God bless Delino.


Anonymous said...

It is with enormous distress that France has just learned of the monstrous attacks—there is no other word for it—that have just struck Delino. In these horrifying circumstances, the entire people of France, and I want to emphasize this, stand by the people of Delino. They express their friendship and solidarity in this tragedy. Naturally, I want to assure President Berger of my total support. France, as you know, has always condemned and unreservedly condemns flaming, and considers that flaming must be combated by all possible means.

-Jacques Chirac, President of France

Nostradamus said...

We are with you. We've even called off our own pseudo-blogwar in solidarity. A poem:

With peace among blogkind,
Can human peace be far behind?
Nostradamus wouldn't mind
For he's only defined
The loose parameters to remind
Us that we sit, meek hinds
Muttering to Zeus to please rewind
That version of Ace of Base's "I saw the sign"
So that, in time,
Our paradise might yet believe in crime.