Monday, June 27, 2005

Wah Delino?

On the most recent post by Al, some of you may have noticed a mysterious comment made by an "Adamm N." I thought little of it, but my partner (not in blogging, but in detective work) Morgan Freeman, believed it to be highly unusual. The following exchange took place one rainy night in our dingy offices:

Me: Huh, Adamm N. Don't know that guy. I bet it's just Tom playing a joke on me. Nobody writes master's dissertations about blogs.

Freeman: No Daniel, Ah checked the IP Address, it's not Tom's computer.

Me: Oh so I guess it was Eric. Well at least he's doing something non-chess related.

Freeman: Goddamnit Daniel, there are other people in the world besides your blogging friends. Think about it- ADAMM N. ADAMM N.

Me: I know an Adam L. from high school, but...

Freeman: A-D-A-M-M N. It's MADMAN rearranged. This is the pyschopath we've been looking for.

Me: And he's randomly targeting bloggers?

Freeman (pacing around me): Nothing about serial killers is random, Daniel. Everything is part of his plan. So the question is, 'Wah Delino?'

Me: Why Delino? Because it's so popular, I guess.

Freeman (now in my face): No, Daniel, your blog only gets 40 unique readers a day, and half of those are Tom checking from different computers. WAH DELINO?

Me: I don't know, Mr. Freeman!

Freeman: Don't they teach you anything in your fancy schools, Daniel? Se7en...

Me (close-up): Oh... my... god. The seven deadly blog genres.

Freeman: I'm afraid so, Daniel. He wants to kill one blogger for each of the seven deadly blog genres. Media- Nostradamus. Entertainment- That Girl. Political/Humor- Actual Rod. Humor/Political- Hidden Hand. Random Musings- Actual God. Left wing Political- Finnegan. And Humor- DAN.

Me: This is terrible. (pause) Though I might point out that Munz would have been more appropriate for left wing political, as Finnegan has a more libertarian bent.

Freeman: This is a serial killer we're dealing with here, Daniel- he doesn't make those kinds of distinctions. But yes, of course the thought occurred to me. Now let's hit the streets and find that perp.

Me: Wait. There's just one thing I still don't understand.

Freeman: And what's that?

Me: Why do you have those dots on your cheeks?

Freeman: They're called Dermatosis Papulosa Nigra. They're very common among African-American men my age. For more information, visit this website.
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Until Freeman and I catch this creep, I urge all of you in the blogosphere to be vigilant and always walk home using the buddy system.

2 comments:

Nostradamus said...

I guess this explains the twelve attempted break-ins at my air-conditioningless New Haven apartment last night. This fucker is dangerous. I sleep with a fireplace poker next to the bed.

matt said...

Dan,

The comment vandal, one Adam D. Bleser[ delino file photo], is legimately conducting a survey on blogs. Yeah, that's right, you can get a master's degree for this sort of thing.

You can find more information about this lazy U. Chicago grad student by googling his personal web page ("two thumbs down" --David Siegel, Creating Killer Websites).

I suggest that your only recourse as an institution of higher blogging is to publish a premptive meta-survey, perhaps titled The blog behind the blog: a survey of definitive surveys of blogging.

ibid.