Tuesday, May 01, 2007

San Francisco Treat, Part 2 (plus a little LA Treat)

While in the Bay Area, recuperating from my holy pilgrimage, I also visited Beneficent Allah at Stanf. It was a sunny day, the campus was beautiful, and the birds were chirping. So when I met up with Beneficent Allah, I told him that I thought the place must be some sort of legal paradise. BA told me that it was pretty nice, but "people don't get me here." Having seen BA's bon vivant personality make his presence de rigeur at any Yale gathering, I wondered how this could be true. The first interaction I saw between BA and some Stanf Law people shed some light on the question:

[An older Conservative Guy who is a Stanf Law student approaches BA and me with a Conservative Indian Girl, Puja, who has been admitted to Stanf Law and is touring campus]

Conservative Guy: Hey BA, this is Puja, she's an admitted student and I'm showing her around.

Puja: I'm deciding between Stanford and University of Chicago.

BA: You might as well be deciding between Stanford and Iraq.

(everyone laughs)

Puja: But U Chicago does have Richard Posner, who is one of my intellectual heroes.

BA: Well Stanford has Richard Epstein. And our famous conservative professors actually focus on the classroom instead of on their next book.

Dan's Inner Monologue: What is BA talking about? He's charming the pants off these people.

BA: Hey Conservative Guy, I'd like to introduce you to my friend Dan. He's a blogger, just like you used to be.

Conservative Guy: Yeah, I used to substitute for Andrew Sullivan when he took vacations. But I stopped doing that a while back.

BA: I bet you stopped because Andrew Sullivan was doing a little too much [makes the Universal Symbol for Ball-Diddling with his hand] with you.

Conservative Guy (quickly): Well, we have go to dinner, bye.


BA's complaint was starting to make sense to me. The next interaction I saw was between BA and his second consecutive autistic Engineering roommate:

[New Autistic Engineering roommate walks in with a Microwave oven]

BA: How many channels does that thing get?
(no response)


Fortunately, Actual God and I later got to see BA in his Natural Habitat in the San Fernando Valley on the outskirts of LA. BA, a true Encino Man, showed us all the sights, from the Duck Pond to the Starbucks to the Chevy's - where AG insisted on getting a pitcher of frozen margarita. While at Chevy's, AG and I also met the oft-discussed Ben "The Body" "Nabawwwdy" "Nabizzle" "Nabisco" Nabody. Unfortunately his brother Dan N. was not there, but as my mom always tells me, you have to keep something for next time. But even in the Valley, BA's gestalt is sometimes lost on people:

[BA approaches a car containing an elderly Persian couple]

BA: Shabbat Shalom!

Elderly Persian Man: Shabbat Shalom.

[BA points to a bottle of water and a small potato in his hands]
BA: Look, it's my dinner!

[Elderly Persian couple drive away]

This post was a roundabout way of welcoming BA to NYC, where he will be for May and June, and where he will have scores of bloggers who appreciate him. BA - can't wait for you to get here.


Rich said...

you got to meet hotty nabati??

also, tom should try hooking up with Puja.

mr. wrongway said...

AG- C'mon guys. (EYELASH BEAT). You know frozen margaritas are delicious. Beer makes me gassy.

Eric said...

How many channels does that thing get? Nice.

BA has had two autistic roommates in a row?

the actual rod said...

how things have changed! i thought AG liked being gassy

Mulatto Jesus said...

BA, wth, when are you coming to Michigan?

Mulatto Jesus said...

Add - this is where you belong.

Beneficent Allah said...

dude, AG was a bitch and a half about the 'greetas. I just got to NY, lets get freaky freaky (ball-diddle)