Dear Pennsylvania Voters,
With the Pennsylvania Democratic primary coming up today, I felt it was important to address something that I've been meaning to tell people for a while now. As the recent controversy over Barack Obama's comments that "bitter" small-town Pennsylvanians cling to "guns" and "religion" showed, elitism is a major concern for the folks in Pennsylvania. They want to make sure the candidates are standing up for them, not looking down on them. And that is why, on the eve of the election, I feel I must reveal something to the voters of Pennsylvania...
Rich mocks people who make store names possessive that are not in fact possessive. Anyone who says "Duane Reade's" or "Chipotle's" or even "Barnes and Noble's" is the subject of complete and utter scorn from Rich.
So there you have it, Pennsylvania voters. I'm glad it's off my chest. Now you good folks can make your decision with all the necessary information available to you. See you at the polls!