Tired of what he sees as the horrible biases and inaccuracies present in the Mainstream Media, Tom has decided to launch his own newspaper, the Tom Times. Here is a preview of an article from the sports section, which will be in tomorrow's inaugural print edition:
NEW YORK, NY - The Boston Random-Number Generators bested the New York Random-Number Generators tonight, with a final score of 4 to 2. Starting with the first pitch, some completely fucking random shit that was essentially the result of a Monte Carlo simulation happened. On hand were 60,000 screaming morons who have no concept of probability theory.