After sitting at a poker table for five hours with a ragtag group of jean shorts wearers and foreigners, I decided I would get a copy of Card Player, a poorly written poker magazine, to read in order to pass the time between hands. Once I started flipping through the magazine, I got the sense that my reading was bothering several people at the table. I figured it bothered them because they thought I would slow down the action by not paying close enough attention, so I was very careful about keeping on top of everything that happened while I was in a hand. Nothing happened for a few rounds, but finally, one gruff Midwesterner broke down and angrily said to me, "You go to MIT or something?" I calmly explained to him that I was merely reading a poker magazine.
I had no issues for a few hands, but soon enough, an Austrian guy to my left derisively asked me, "Vaht subject ah you studying for, professah?" which drew guffaws from the other players. I again explained to them that I was reading a poker magazine. I figured this had finally ended the matter. Nothing of note happened for many hands. Yet then I won a large pot against the Austrian guy. This set him off, and he berated me, yelling, "You must get high marks, smaht boy, vith all your book reading." It was only THEN that it finally dawned on me that what was really bothering the players was not that I was reading at the poker table, but rather that I WAS READING AT ALL. Moral of the story- never listen to Ariel or any of other Administration shills (hat tip to Actual Rod) when they tell you that poker is a good way to meet people.
NB: More to come today...
Monday, October 31, 2005
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Planning the trip to Vegas
Yes, we leave today. Here is our guide.
An excerpt:
Q: Where can I combine my two favorite activities -- gambling and eating?
Korean Surprise: A: any casino you idiot
An excerpt:
Q: Where can I combine my two favorite activities -- gambling and eating?
Korean Surprise: A: any casino you idiot
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
My Life is a Haiku
Neighbor knocks on door:
"Can I borrow an onion?"
"Sorry man, fresh out."
-----
So fucking hungry.
"Turkey-avocado, please,
with extra Russian."
----
Need to take a dump.
Fuck, out of toilet paper.
I wish I were dead.
"Can I borrow an onion?"
"Sorry man, fresh out."
-----
So fucking hungry.
"Turkey-avocado, please,
with extra Russian."
----
Need to take a dump.
Fuck, out of toilet paper.
I wish I were dead.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Job Applications
For whatever reason, I decided to apply for a job today. But Rich, why would you trade in your cushy lifestyle for the daily grind of working? Well, I'm still not sure how to answer that question.
Anyway, as a requirement of the application process I had to undergo a 180 part personality assessment. Each part consisted of two statements and five possible answers. I had to choose whether I strongly agreed with one of the statements, somewhat agreed with one of the statements, or felt neutrally about them. Remember, I could only choose one of these possibilities. For example, one statement would be, "I work better with others," while the other might be, "I work better individually." And so on and so forth. These statements could be rather frustrating at times and I got pretty tired of the whole thing pretty quickly.
However, one thing about the whole process did interest me. As the statements kept on coming, I realized that many of them were repeating the same ideas, just phrasing them differently. These bastards were trying to catch me in some inconsistent answers! Now I was constantly trying to remember what I had answered earlier, but it was no good, as the "I am organized" blended with the "I am light-hearted" and the "I am outgoing" mixed together with "I like to be alone with my thoughts." Next thing I knew I was a quivering mess writing a blog post and realizing why I am unemployed.
Anyway, as a requirement of the application process I had to undergo a 180 part personality assessment. Each part consisted of two statements and five possible answers. I had to choose whether I strongly agreed with one of the statements, somewhat agreed with one of the statements, or felt neutrally about them. Remember, I could only choose one of these possibilities. For example, one statement would be, "I work better with others," while the other might be, "I work better individually." And so on and so forth. These statements could be rather frustrating at times and I got pretty tired of the whole thing pretty quickly.
However, one thing about the whole process did interest me. As the statements kept on coming, I realized that many of them were repeating the same ideas, just phrasing them differently. These bastards were trying to catch me in some inconsistent answers! Now I was constantly trying to remember what I had answered earlier, but it was no good, as the "I am organized" blended with the "I am light-hearted" and the "I am outgoing" mixed together with "I like to be alone with my thoughts." Next thing I knew I was a quivering mess writing a blog post and realizing why I am unemployed.
Our Rodney King
(Editor's Note: This post is from the Delino archives and has recently been re-approved for posting.)
The blogosphere was hit hard this week when one of our own was attacked by the New Haven police. New Haven's High Street was transformed into South Central circa 1991 as the Actual God took an undeserved trip downtown following an altercation with an angry cop outside the Oxford Apartments. Actual God, who lives at the Oxford (something the YDN article neglects to mention), was on his own steps, enlightening the crowds with his mere presence, when Officer Mark Francia saw fit to disturb the peace. Officer Francia has experience arresting innocent college kids for no reason, so I guess ultimately we should not be entirely shocked by his behavior. Nevertheless, his actions were outrageous and should not be tolerated.
Furthermore, I think that there is a subtext to this incident that has not been mentioned. I think that Francia knew about the Actual God's blog and was thus firing the first shot in the impending war between the bloggers and the New Haven police. Be wary Kingspawn, watch your back Nostradamus, and comment very carefully Anonymous Flamer. The coppers are looking for any excuse to bring you down.
Meanwhile, here at Delino, we will back our blogging brethren 100% and do our best to prevent a major blogging riot from breaking out in the coming weeks.
The blogosphere was hit hard this week when one of our own was attacked by the New Haven police. New Haven's High Street was transformed into South Central circa 1991 as the Actual God took an undeserved trip downtown following an altercation with an angry cop outside the Oxford Apartments. Actual God, who lives at the Oxford (something the YDN article neglects to mention), was on his own steps, enlightening the crowds with his mere presence, when Officer Mark Francia saw fit to disturb the peace. Officer Francia has experience arresting innocent college kids for no reason, so I guess ultimately we should not be entirely shocked by his behavior. Nevertheless, his actions were outrageous and should not be tolerated.
Furthermore, I think that there is a subtext to this incident that has not been mentioned. I think that Francia knew about the Actual God's blog and was thus firing the first shot in the impending war between the bloggers and the New Haven police. Be wary Kingspawn, watch your back Nostradamus, and comment very carefully Anonymous Flamer. The coppers are looking for any excuse to bring you down.
Meanwhile, here at Delino, we will back our blogging brethren 100% and do our best to prevent a major blogging riot from breaking out in the coming weeks.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Diesel DJ
While shopping at Diesel near Union Square last weekend (it wasn't for me), I noticed that the hip-hop music being played in the store was emanating from a portly African-American DJ. My curiosity was piqued, and I began to ponder how DJs transitioned from one song to another relatively seamlessly. So I watched the DJ as he played an R. Kelly song off a record, and then prepared to transition to a Jay-Z record.
Over the course of five minutes, he turned various knobs- each time I expected him to change songs and he didn't. And he adjusted several level controls- again, I thought he'd switch at that point, and yet he didn't. He was waiting for the perfect moment to transition songs so that the bass lines and beats would line up flawlessly and no one would notice the switch. After all that preparation, finally, here was the transition he made. Suffice it to say, I'm throwing out the turntables Rich bought me for Hanukkah- DJing is dead to me.
Over the course of five minutes, he turned various knobs- each time I expected him to change songs and he didn't. And he adjusted several level controls- again, I thought he'd switch at that point, and yet he didn't. He was waiting for the perfect moment to transition songs so that the bass lines and beats would line up flawlessly and no one would notice the switch. After all that preparation, finally, here was the transition he made. Suffice it to say, I'm throwing out the turntables Rich bought me for Hanukkah- DJing is dead to me.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Max and the Wiz
To take refuge from a rainy Friday last week, the Delino family huddled next to the radio in our living room with some hot cocoa and marshmallows. Rich wanted to listen to the Yale-Cornell Cross Country meet, but we convinced him that we should instead listen to some commentary about the great issues of the day. And so we turned our dial to 1340 WYBC AM, and found Max and the Wiz (Fridays, 5 PM).
Max and the Wiz began with an slick anchor voice intoning, "Max and the Wiz- the show where we give you OUR take on today's hottest issues." But almost immediately, this suave disembodied voice was replaced by two lisping dorks, Max, and of course the Wiz. Check out one of their Crossfire-style exchanges--
Max: Ssso, what'sss newsss today. Let'sss sssee. Oh, a new law on the booksss requiresss PORN actorsss to regissster to make sssure they aren't children. The Wiz, your take on thisss isssue?
The Wiz: Huh. Umm. (5 second pause) Yeah, I guesss. Well. It'sss a ssslippery ssslope, ssso you have to, uh, be careful.
Max: Yeah. Uhh. (5 second pause) That'sss a good analysssisss. Although I think... (5 second pause) Never mind. Umm, yeah. Moving on....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look out Hannity and Colmes!!!!
Max and the Wiz began with an slick anchor voice intoning, "Max and the Wiz- the show where we give you OUR take on today's hottest issues." But almost immediately, this suave disembodied voice was replaced by two lisping dorks, Max, and of course the Wiz. Check out one of their Crossfire-style exchanges--
Max: Ssso, what'sss newsss today. Let'sss sssee. Oh, a new law on the booksss requiresss PORN actorsss to regissster to make sssure they aren't children. The Wiz, your take on thisss isssue?
The Wiz: Huh. Umm. (5 second pause) Yeah, I guesss. Well. It'sss a ssslippery ssslope, ssso you have to, uh, be careful.
Max: Yeah. Uhh. (5 second pause) That'sss a good analysssisss. Although I think... (5 second pause) Never mind. Umm, yeah. Moving on....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Look out Hannity and Colmes!!!!
"The Dominican Republic??"
Interested in working on development in
The Dominican Republic??
I saw this flyer today, but at first I couldn't see the text at the top.
"Fucking A man, right on, what is the deal there anyway"
The Dominican Republic??
I saw this flyer today, but at first I couldn't see the text at the top.
"Fucking A man, right on, what is the deal there anyway"
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Shaggy Sneak Preview
The bad boys of blogging were at it again tonight, this time on the set of reggae phenomenon Shaggy's new music video. As you can see from this picture, despite the fact that everyone was there just for him, he had a bevy of ebony bombshells surrounding him, and all he had to do was lip-synch to a song for 30 seconds and move around in a cool looking way, Shaggy felt VERY put-upon.
He pouted a lot and whined in his Jamaican accent to Production Assistants. Not only was Shaggy not into his own video, he was not into his own music. But he managed to hide it during takes, as you can see from this bootleg video Rich took. And now, without further ado, Rich and I present to you a preview of the new Shaggy video...
He pouted a lot and whined in his Jamaican accent to Production Assistants. Not only was Shaggy not into his own video, he was not into his own music. But he managed to hide it during takes, as you can see from this bootleg video Rich took. And now, without further ado, Rich and I present to you a preview of the new Shaggy video...
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