WPT Disagrees with NBA: Reading is NOT Fun-damental

After sitting at a poker table for five hours with a ragtag group of jean shorts wearers and foreigners, I decided I would get a copy of Card Player, a poorly written poker magazine, to read in order to pass the time between hands. Once I started flipping through the magazine, I got the sense that my reading was bothering several people at the table. I figured it bothered them because they thought I would slow down the action by not paying close enough attention, so I was very careful about keeping on top of everything that happened while I was in a hand. Nothing happened for a few rounds, but finally, one gruff Midwesterner broke down and angrily said to me, "You go to MIT or something?" I calmly explained to him that I was merely reading a poker magazine.

I had no issues for a few hands, but soon enough, an Austrian guy to my left derisively asked me, "Vaht subject ah you studying for, professah?" which drew guffaws from the other players. I again explained to them that I was reading a poker magazine. I figured this had finally ended the matter. Nothing of note happened for many hands. Yet then I won a large pot against the Austrian guy. This set him off, and he berated me, yelling, "You must get high marks, smaht boy, vith all your book reading." It was only THEN that it finally dawned on me that what was really bothering the players was not that I was reading at the poker table, but rather that I WAS READING AT ALL. Moral of the story- never listen to Ariel or any of other Administration shills (hat tip to Actual Rod) when they tell you that poker is a good way to meet people.

NB: More to come today...