Monday, October 31, 2005
I had no issues for a few hands, but soon enough, an Austrian guy to my left derisively asked me, "Vaht subject ah you studying for, professah?" which drew guffaws from the other players. I again explained to them that I was reading a poker magazine. I figured this had finally ended the matter. Nothing of note happened for many hands. Yet then I won a large pot against the Austrian guy. This set him off, and he berated me, yelling, "You must get high marks, smaht boy, vith all your book reading." It was only THEN that it finally dawned on me that what was really bothering the players was not that I was reading at the poker table, but rather that I WAS READING AT ALL. Moral of the story- never listen to Ariel or any of other Administration shills (hat tip to Actual Rod) when they tell you that poker is a good way to meet people.
NB: More to come today...
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Anyway, as a requirement of the application process I had to undergo a 180 part personality assessment. Each part consisted of two statements and five possible answers. I had to choose whether I strongly agreed with one of the statements, somewhat agreed with one of the statements, or felt neutrally about them. Remember, I could only choose one of these possibilities. For example, one statement would be, "I work better with others," while the other might be, "I work better individually." And so on and so forth. These statements could be rather frustrating at times and I got pretty tired of the whole thing pretty quickly.
However, one thing about the whole process did interest me. As the statements kept on coming, I realized that many of them were repeating the same ideas, just phrasing them differently. These bastards were trying to catch me in some inconsistent answers! Now I was constantly trying to remember what I had answered earlier, but it was no good, as the "I am organized" blended with the "I am light-hearted" and the "I am outgoing" mixed together with "I like to be alone with my thoughts." Next thing I knew I was a quivering mess writing a blog post and realizing why I am unemployed.
The blogosphere was hit hard this week when one of our own was attacked by the New Haven police. New Haven's High Street was transformed into South Central circa 1991 as the Actual God took an undeserved trip downtown following an altercation with an angry cop outside the Oxford Apartments. Actual God, who lives at the Oxford (something the YDN article neglects to mention), was on his own steps, enlightening the crowds with his mere presence, when Officer Mark Francia saw fit to disturb the peace. Officer Francia has experience arresting innocent college kids for no reason, so I guess ultimately we should not be entirely shocked by his behavior. Nevertheless, his actions were outrageous and should not be tolerated.
Furthermore, I think that there is a subtext to this incident that has not been mentioned. I think that Francia knew about the Actual God's blog and was thus firing the first shot in the impending war between the bloggers and the New Haven police. Be wary Kingspawn, watch your back Nostradamus, and comment very carefully Anonymous Flamer. The coppers are looking for any excuse to bring you down.
Meanwhile, here at Delino, we will back our blogging brethren 100% and do our best to prevent a major blogging riot from breaking out in the coming weeks.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Over the course of five minutes, he turned various knobs- each time I expected him to change songs and he didn't. And he adjusted several level controls- again, I thought he'd switch at that point, and yet he didn't. He was waiting for the perfect moment to transition songs so that the bass lines and beats would line up flawlessly and no one would notice the switch. After all that preparation, finally, here was the transition he made. Suffice it to say, I'm throwing out the turntables Rich bought me for Hanukkah- DJing is dead to me.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Max and the Wiz began with an slick anchor voice intoning, "Max and the Wiz- the show where we give you OUR take on today's hottest issues." But almost immediately, this suave disembodied voice was replaced by two lisping dorks, Max, and of course the Wiz. Check out one of their Crossfire-style exchanges--
Max: Ssso, what'sss newsss today. Let'sss sssee. Oh, a new law on the booksss requiresss PORN actorsss to regissster to make sssure they aren't children. The Wiz, your take on thisss isssue?
The Wiz: Huh. Umm. (5 second pause) Yeah, I guesss. Well. It'sss a ssslippery ssslope, ssso you have to, uh, be careful.
Max: Yeah. Uhh. (5 second pause) That'sss a good analysssisss. Although I think... (5 second pause) Never mind. Umm, yeah. Moving on....
Look out Hannity and Colmes!!!!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
He pouted a lot and whined in his Jamaican accent to Production Assistants. Not only was Shaggy not into his own video, he was not into his own music. But he managed to hide it during takes, as you can see from this bootleg video Rich took. And now, without further ado, Rich and I present to you a preview of the new Shaggy video...
Monday, October 17, 2005
They called him Radio, and he appeared to know everyone on the scene, despite the fact that he looked like a homeless man (to his credit, he later shook hands with both Regis Philbin and Steve Martin). Finally, two of the stars, Jason Schwartzman and Claire Danes arrived at the premiere. They posed for this picture for me.
Regis Philbin arrived at approximately the same time, as you can see in this video. Steve Martin was next, and Dan yelled out, "I loved you as Navin Johnson!"
Next thing we knew the media whirlwind was over for us. I was able to capture one more video of Martin and Danes chatting with the press, but alas, our time with the stars was too short. Luckily they are filming a scene for The Devil Wears Prada across the street from our apartment, so maybe Dan can keep getting his celebrity fix there.
This is a well-written review of the movie. Even Roger Ebert didn't like it...and he likes everything these days.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
OK, so here we have a perfect sitcom predicament, right? There is no way Danny can wear this thing on national TV. It looks completely ridiculous. But does he really want to hurt his 7-year old daughter's feelings?
But then he just wears the fucking thing on the air and the plot goes in a completely different direction. No conflict there at all. Full House fakes me out again.
P.S. This is DJ's (well done, Rich) brother-in-law:
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
P.S. A related syndrome, if I'm walking on a narrowish sidewalk, and there is someone walking in front of me, I will sometimes start walking really fast and make a semi-show out of going around them like they were really holding me up by walking so slow, when in fact the pace was quite comfortable.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Monday, October 10, 2005
1. Say, "Correct response, you have control of the board." (over and over again)
2. When someone is no longer in the negatives say, "Good job [insert name], you're out of the hole."
3. Laugh at how defending champion has large collection of German board games and say, "Ich bin ein boardgamer."
4. Pretend to be smarter than every contestant.
2. If there are 2 outs with a full count, with runners on base, make sure you say "The runners will be going on the pitch"
Acutal quote: After her limo broke down, Amanda lamented, "This is bullshit! I have to show up to my party in an Acura?!"
Late edit: another episode came on with triplet spoiled bitches! And all each one of them does the whole time is try to look the prettiest! This is actually amazing. Check out this exchange:
Triplet #1: Don't wear those earrings, they're too big. You don't want to look like an idiot.
Triplet #2: Listen, I know your hair didn't really turn out the way you wanted it to, and your makeup is a little too heavy, but you just need to calm down.
Triplet #1: You're an evil whore.
This show is like heroin. Next episode. The girl and her friends are making a list of people who aren't invited to her party. This list is aptly entitled "The Losers." What are they going to do with this list? God, this is like an awesome mind puzzle!
Saturday, October 08, 2005
A few days ago there was an article in the travel section of the New York Times about
To the Editor: I was disturbed to read that Christopher Solomon, who had received $250 a day to spend in the Napa Valley, brags that he tasted at least 28 wines in 24 hours, although he drove from winery to winery. It seems that this would cause his blood alcohol level to be above the legal limit. But he appears totally oblivious to this problem.
I would think that The New York Times and its reporters would be more aware of and sensitive to the problems of drinking and driving.
Miriam J. Haines
You can imagine what it was like watching Sideways with my Mom--
Maya: Why are you so in to Pinot?
Miles Raymond: [laughs softly]
Maya: I mean, it's like a thing with you.
Miles Raymond: [continues laughing softly]
Miles Raymond: Uh, I don't know, I don't know. Um, it's a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It's uh, it's thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It's, you know, it's not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it's neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot's potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they're just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and--
My Mom: YOU BRUTE! STOP DRINKING AND DRIVING! Boys, we're leaving!
Rich: But Mo-THER...
My Mom: Fine, you can stay Richard. Daniel, let's go!
For those of you interested in further reading of my mother's Letters to the Editor of the NYTimes Travel section, check out this gem from The Archives.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
The Dan Berger Instructional Video
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Slater and the other football players are worried about a test. I won't get into the plot details, but at first it looked like there would be no test, but then it turned out that there would be. Football player says: "If we have to take that test, we'll flink!!"
Presumably he was so (read: soooooo) dumb, he didn't even know the word "flunk"! Get it? Sick!
Also, I have it on good authority that Rich's last post about Shout About Movies is an urban legend, much like the female orgasm.