i'm in the CCL computer cluster to meet a CA who is fixing my laptop. by the way, something i noticed is, you can tell a guy is a "computer guy" if he constantly refers to your computer as "this machine."
i'm waiting for the guy to fix my computer. so i was in a mood to do some sketches, and by sketches i mean the classic transparent cube, etc. i go over to the printer, and i'm about to steal some blank paper from it. then i look up and see a sign posted on the wall above the printer. it said (no exaggeration):
STOP. (huge, boldface letters)
BEFORE YOU TAKE BLANK PAPER OUT OF THE PRINTERS,
LOOK DIRECTLY BEHIND YOU ON THAT BLACK TABLE.
THERE'S TONS OF SCRAP PAPER THERE.
SO SAVE SOME TREES, AND OUR TIME REFILLING THE PRINTERS.
it obviously didn't say dickwad, but everything else is verbatim. what the fuck kind of attitude is this for a sign in the fucking library? imagine going to a restaurant and seeing a sign: "LISTEN, BEFORE YOU WIPE THAT BOOGER UNDERNEATH THE TABLE, DO US A FAVOR AND USE A GODDAMN NAPKIN, THERE ARE FUCKING MILLIONS OF THEM AROUND, AND IT SUCKS TO HAVE TO CLEAN THAT SHIT UP, AND, UGH, WHY ARE YOU SUCH A WASTE OF A HUMAN BEING?"
and you know what the worst part is? i actually felt guilty for a (brief) second. they caught me, so i thought.
you've probably already figured out the punchline. yeah, i look behind at the black table and there's no paper. not a single page.
now i am mad. i mean, in a way i respect the moxie required to post this beast. but if you go that route, you be damn sure that there is paper on that fucking table. that's really the galling part.
to retaliate, when no one was looking i took a huge stack of like 500 pages from one of the printers and just threw it directly into the garbage. fuck them.
P.S. could someone (not the guy who thinks my posts suck) tell me in the comments section if i used the word smarmy correctly in the title? i'm not sure i know what this word means.